Unknown Soldier
by Spiritstrike
Summary: ROTF/28 Meme Challenge: A series of oneshots surrounding Sideswipe, who was built for the sole purpose of killing. Thus, making him a true example of the war he only knows about. Part 13-Ironhide has a discussion with an exhausted Sideswipe.
1. Obedient

Spiritimus Prime: Hey guys and girls. I've been wanting to do a oneshot series surrounding my new favourite Autobot from the ROTF movie that came out this year. Normally I shouldn't be putting up new stories until I have completed the other ones on my list, but since I was so bored, I thought I would put up my first Twenty-Eight meme challenge based on Sideswipe. Yes, I'm sure not many would've been willing to do him because he didn't have much of a character to him except for being so damn merciless and well-focused on the battle ahead of him. So, I was bored one night and these kind of popped into my head. Just enjoy this 'little' series and I can promise you, without a doubt, that you're going to enjoy it as much as I enjoyed writing it. This won't be updated as much as my other stories, I mostly will when I become bored and stuck on writer's block. Please enjoy!

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**Obedient**

The silver, sleek mech watched curiously from the corner of his optics, watching as his Autobot comrades talked amongst themselves while he was isolated from them, mostly because he was sitting in the far corner of the room on a crate while he was busy cleaning one of his wrist blades that had gotten covered in Energon during the great battle in Egypt.

After the battle in Egypt, the Autobots who had been damaged the most were being shipped on a giant aircraft carrier back to Diego Garcia. The only ones who had suffered the most damage were the twins, Mudflap and Skids, Ironhide, Optimus Prime, the Arcee triplets, and Sideswipe himself. The rest had been carried off onboard a cargo plane, but Ratchet had remained on the aircraft carrier to help repair his fellow Autobots, much to Sideswipe's annoyance.

Sideswipe did not like to be treated by Ratchet, mostly because his unusual bedside manner didn't help dampen the pain nor did his gentle hands even fix the right problem that was bothering him. But if Optimus ordered him to be treated, Sideswipe wouldn't even ignore the order, not unless the silver mech had every reason to do so and Optimus would let him go free if he needed to.

However, it seemed like today was going to be different.

"Sideswipe," Ironhide called from afar, interrupting the younger mech's thoughts. "Ratchet wants to see you. He says he needs to get your repairs done right away, even though you didn't suffer as much damage as the rest of us."

Sideswipe frowned and turned away from the veteran, shaking his head 'no'. "You can tell Hatchet that I will not cooperate," he growled. "I don't need repairs and I'm not in the mood to even bother with him."

"Oh, Hatchet ain't gonna like that, amigo," Skids spoke up as Mudflap punched him in the shoulder, which caused him to glare at his brother and punch him back just to shut him up. "You're in for one hell of an ass-whoopin'."

The silver mech glared at the twins and snorted before he stood up on his wheeled feet and his bright blue optics formed a glare that only the twins feared the most. He was in no mood for their street-slang nor did he want to even bother with getting repairs from Ratchet. The green mech didn't frighten him; he just wasn't gentle and was not careful with his sensitive spots such as his blades and chest cavity. Every time Ratchet worked on him, he ended up poking those sensitive spots and would cause Sideswipe to yelp in protest and try to make a getaway, only to end up being stopped by Optimus and have his repairs resumed much to the silver mech's horror, annoyance, and anger.

The twins backed away as Sideswipe rolled up to them, as if he was threatening to tear off their afts with his own bear hands. However, he was stopped when Ironhide stopped him and pulled him away from the twins. Sideswipe glared at him angrily, but the big black mech did not even flinch at the cold gaze of the expert fighter nor did he even look at him.

"Come on kid, back away," the old mech said, his voice cool, calm, and collected.

Sideswipe shrugged off Ironhide's hand and continued to stare at him like as if he had blown a gasket or something else. Despite the old mech's words of trying to make him ease up, the younger mech did not want to hear any of this stupid nonsense about calming down or backing away from a little skirmish that had just gotten his circuits tingling.

"Sideswipe," a deep baritone voice spoke up, causing all of the Autobots to look in its direction. It was Optimus Prime. "Back away from the twins and go and see Ratchet about that injured shoulder of yours."

The silver mech shuddered at the tone of Optimus' voice. While it was both commanding and strong, it also contained kindness and reassurance that somehow eased him a bit. The tension left his body and he bowed his head in near-submission. Even though he didn't like following orders to the letter, Sideswipe always obeyed the leaders because of how much he respected them. It was not just from bravery and strength. It was from their wisdom and promises.

The Autobot leader had approached as soon as he had heard the ruckus and had placed his hand upon Sideswipe's shoulder to make him ease up. For some odd reason, the young Autobot did so without even flinching or hesitating, much to Ironhide's surprise. Geez, did the kid always only obey their leader and no one else?

Slowly, Sideswipe pulled away from Optimus, his facial expression unreadable to the Autobot leader, but his optics, however, were not. Optimus could see his nervousness and unsureness about being treated by Ratchet, especially when he was poked around in his sensitive spots that always made him gasp and choke in shock and surprise. "Do you want me to come with you?" he asked gently.

"Wh... what?" Sideswipe asked in confusion. "Why would you want to waste your time with me?"

Optimus smiled kindly. "I just want to make sure that you get your proper treatment," he replied. "If Ratchet doesn't do a good job and accidentally gets his hands in uncomfortable places for you, I'll make sure that he doesn't do anything like that."

Sideswipe shook his head to clear his surprise. "Alright, sir," he said, "I'll go and get my treatment from Ratchet the Hatchet." He then added a smile to his face to try and take away his unsureness about Ratchet's skills as a medic. It was not that he did not doubt him, he just wasn't comfortable about the sensitive spots.

The Autobot leader nodded and motioned Sideswipe to get down to the medical bay to get himself treated by Ratchet. He knew that Sideswipe was not happy about it, but if the young Autobot was going to be back in top physical condition, then he would need Ratchet's help to make sure that nothing was damaged severely. He watched as Sideswipe skated on his wheeled feet out the room and then turned to follow him, but he only stopped once to glance over his shoulder to check up on his Autobots that were still nursing their healed injuries that Ratchet had fixed up.

Ironhide frowned at his old friend but he said nothing and shrugged his massive shoulders as if he were saying 'I don't know what's wrong, just be careful what you are doing'. Like Optimus needed Ironhide to point that out.

Without further saying, and ignoring Ironhide's shrug, Optimus followed after one of his most obedient and loyalist soldiers amongst his fellow Autobot warriors.

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Spiritimus Prime: Well, there you go. Until I can come up with something for the next chapter of one of my stories, this will get updated to satisfy my own entertainment, and not just anyone else's. If you enjoyed it, then review, if not, don't bother with me or anything else. Until the next chapter or the next writer's block, stay tuned.


	2. Transforming

Spiritimus Prime: My muse just won't leave me alone! While I was at work today, my mind was playing images of this scene over and over again and I almost got into trouble for being distracted. Obviously it ain't my fault I'm always in another world, my head just isn't satisfied as easily as you think. Anyway, I had been wondering what went through Sideswipe's mind when he first transformed on Earth. If I remember correctly, he didn't get to transform in one of the comics upon his arrival on Earth after scanning the Corvette Stingray Concept vehicle because he, Arcee, Jolt, and Mudflap and Skids had been called into action in Shanghai by Optimus Prime and NEST. So here's the next oneshot. Enjoy!

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**Transforming**

The cries of the Chinese began to fade away as the evening began to creep in, allowing all traces of light to become barely noticeable. The only light that was available were on the streetlights that stood on opposite sides of the road to give the citizens a proper view should they come out at night to walk the usually crowded streets or to allow their cars to drive through the darkness without too much trouble.

From afar, the NEST team stalked the construction site, their senses on high alert and their footsteps as silent as the wind itself. The only sounds that could be heard from them was the beeping scanners and their whispering voices as they coordinated each other's movements, trying to look for any signs of what they were looking for.

Leading the group of humans were Major William Lennox and Sergeant Robert Epps. They were both well focused and determined to do what it took to defend the humans that knew nothing of the threat that lingered around in their home country town of Shanghai in China. Of course, this was not going to be easy finding the Decepticon that was hanging around the construction site nor was it a possibility that it was one. Obviously, to anyone, nothing was impossible.

"How are we doing, Epps?" Will asked as he glanced over at his old friend, who was busy looking at a scanner that scanned for heat. "Are we almost on top of him?"

A silver Chevrolet Corvette Stingray Concept rolled up from behind them, its movements barely noticeable until it had switched its engine off. So far, besides Ironhide, it was the only vehicle that did not look like it was designed for the usual fight and flee routine. No, this vehicle was different compared to its companions and its own kind that it rarely hung around. The Corvette lifted its body from its axles to get a better look at what Epps was looking at. It then shuddered in both excitement and giddiness.

"Patience, Sideswipe," Ironhide said from afar when his acute audio receptors detected the rattle of the Corvette's sleek form. The old warrior was crouched behind the group of humans, his nose twitching as he smelt the badly polluted air of Shanghai. "I know you're excited about your first battle on Earth, but you cannot do anything unless you are ordered to by Optimus or by William Lennox."

The Corvette, who had been addressed as Sideswipe, lowered himself back down and turned around a little bit until his side was facing Ironhide, as if he was looking from the corner of his windshield. "Like I needed to be told by you?" he growled in a male voice that sounded both young and mature for his age. "Give me a break and let me do my job when I'm called for. You're obviously too slow to even catch up with me anyway."

Ironhide glared icy daggers at the Corvette. "What did you say, young punk?" he demanded. "I dare you to say that to my face again!"

Sideswipe jumped forward a bit and his form rattled again, as if he was laughing. "You're old and slow," he said. "And you smell like rotten old Energon that has just gone off in a blistering hot day in the middle of summer."

"Right," Ironhide snarled, as he edged forward while the humans snickered in amusement, "that's it! I've had enough of you!" He tried to come towards the Corvette, but he was too far away and the humans blocked his path from going any further.

"Damnit!" William cried as a clattering sound was heard from afar and an explosion sounded around the group. In a matter of seconds, a huge Decepticon lunged forward and smashed a huge pile of construction work that had been near him. Debris and dirt scattered everywhere and lights flickered on as another Decepticon announced its appearance. A silver and black Audi R8 turned its lights on and bolted for the nearest exit and disappeared into the night. The only clues that NEST had of knowing where it had gone were the sound of its highly pumped engine. "We've got a runaway!"

Sideswipe shuddered again and prepared to move out, but Ironhide grabbed his behind with one of his massive hands, stopping him from going any further. He revered his engine angrily, demanding that the old warrior let him go before he got angry with him. But Ironhide refused to let go and this made Sideswipe even angrier. He pumped his engine into full throttle, his wheels spinning and his Spark was pounding furiously inside his systems, but Ironhide was too strong for him and Sideswipe came to an abrupt halt, too exhausted to even move at all. He could only watch and listen as William deployed the Arcee triplets and the twins to find Sideways.

The Arcee triplets had already moved into position to try and intercept the Decepticon Sideways. However, Sideways had evaded them, including Mudflap and Skids, by disappearing through a building and had turned into another alley where they could not reach him.

This left Will with only one choice. He turned to Ironhide and ordered him to let go of Sideswipe. Ironhide obeyed and the surprised mech almost spun out of control if it had not been for his reflexes. He did a 180 and came to an abrupt halt, a look of surprise on his windshield, but he doubted anyone could see his emotions because of having no face or facial features. "You're letting me go?" he asked.

"Of course," Will said, his tone calm. "You're the only one who is fast enough to catch up with him and take him out without any problems whatsoever. Now hurry up and go before Ironhide or I change our minds."

Sideswipe beamed in happiness, but he didn't show it. Finally! He was getting a chance to prove himself to his peers and show them what he was made of. He couldn't wait to show his skills and abilities in combat. It was going to be one swell ride. "You got it, sir!" he declared and turned so quickly that he left a cloud of dust and asphalt and it got into Ironhide's optics as well as clogging up Will's lungs, causing him to cough.

"You sure that was wise of you?" Ironhide asked when he blinked the dust away. "Sending Sideswipe out there to go and takedown a Decepticon is no laughing matter. He doesn't show mercy when it comes to battling opponents. He was, after all, built to be a soldier."

Will folded his arms across his chest, ignoring the stare from the old warrior. "As I said to Sideswipe," he explained, "he's the only one fast enough to catch up with that Decepticon. I may not know him as well as you, Ironhide, but we all know that we must takedown every Decepticon that threatens us. I'm just putting Sideswipe's skills to the test since he hasn't had much of a chance to do anything since his arrival on Earth. At least give him a chance to get used to his new form. He never really got much of a chance to even transform because we were interrupted before he could do anything."

Ironhide's shoulders sagged a little in defeat. "I hope you're right, Will," he said a little doubtfully. "I really, really do."

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Sideways sped for his life as the silver Corvette caught up with him in a matter of seconds. The Decepticon's breathing was laboured and his Spark was pumping furiously inside his chassis as he struggled to escape the newcomer. He hadn't seen him before nor did he have any data on him. Sideswipe's speed and agility allowed him to dodge falling debris that Sideways had set up as traps, sharp corners, and zigzagging his way even closer to his opponent. He was focused, determined and willing to do what he had been designed for the sole purpose of in his life and that he knew only: killing without mercy.

At last Sideswipe caught up with Sideways, who had dodged into another alley, zigzagging left and right to try and lose his pursuer. And, during those split few seconds of the sharp turn into the alleyway, the sleek, silver mech focused all his energy into one single thing he was best at in his entire life. Quick-change transformation, something he had not done in quite a while since his arrival on this strange world.

He held his breath, slowed his quickly pounding Spark, and everything happened in slow motion to him. The body kit with the back tyres swung upwards, the blades extending to their full length to form the arms as Sideswipe's body did a 180, the front section of the vehicle split in half and the front tyres reached to an incredible length to form legs with the front tyres acting as wheeled feet. The windshield also broke in half and flipped upside down on the back as the head pushed itself between the bulky shoulders, the optics brightening brilliant cobalt blue, and the rest of the bonnet formed armour to protect the sleek shoulders.

For a moment, Sideswipe had completely lost himself in the middle of his transformation. He had forgotten Sideways and he had forgotten about the rest of the world until he had completed the transformation. Like a skater on ice, his wheeled feet spun so quickly that he was off like a rocket, his giddiness and excitement now at full capacity as he sped along the streets of a random alleyway. He wanted to laugh out loud in happiness, but his com-link snapped him back into reality as Ironhide's voice bellowed at him.

"What are you doing, kid?!" the old warrior snarled. "Get back into the chase! You're completely off course by a few metres!"

Using his blades like brakes or manoeuvres to help him move like lightning, the skilled warrior once again refocused himself to the task at hand. Ignoring Ironhide's rambling about losing himself during his first-time transformation since his arrival on Earth Sideswipe bolted back onto the main street to once again catch up with the terrified Decepticon.

"Clear a path!" Sideswipe ordered his allies as he manoeuvred his way through the street, the humans running out of the way so that he could bypass them without further interruption from any of his comrades.

He closed in on Sideways and extended his blades once again as he used them to shift his weight into his torso and leapt into the air like a graceful ballerina while performing a perfect summersault over Sideways. Shifting his torso until it was levelled with the position he wanted, he extended his right arm and threw his right arm blade that buried itself deeply into Sideways' hood, sending sparks flying in its wake and the fulfilling cries of pain from Sideways reached Sideswipe's audio receptors, but he felt no pity and no remorse for the Decepticon as he died right there on the spot.

As soon as he landed on his wheeled feet, Sideswipe skated to the left, latching his right arm back onto the blade, and dragged it through Sideways' chassis in the opposite direction, tearing him in half. Sideswipe's facial features formed an emotionless smile that showed his bloodthirstiness towards the battle that he had won without even bothering to lift a finger. It was as if the fighting had taken control over the young mech and had turned him into an Energon-craving monster and not an Autobot who cared about life like Optimus Prime or Bumblebee. No, Sideswipe was something else, a silver speed demon, a creature from hell itself, an Autobot like no other with no equal in his supreme speed and agility that no one could possibly match at all.

With the Decepticon now taken down and Sideswipe coming out without a single scratch on his silver chassis from the explosion, the silver mech did a single 180 once again, his blades returning to his wrists, and his blue optics still blazing with the lust of battle still lingering in them like twisting embers of cold blue fire. He straightened up a little and smirked in the direction of his kill before nodding in satisfaction at a job-well-done.

Only three words escaped the mech's mouth that always brought pleasure and admiration to himself every time he did something he was always proud of, mostly killing until his work was done for the day. They were words that no one would like, but he didn't care what they thought. He was what he was and he always will be.

"Damn, I'm good."

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Spiritimus Prime: Damn right he's good! I loved Sideswipe the moment I laid eyes on him. Despite not having much of a role to play in the movie, other than tearing down Sideways, he still kicked ass and was the only Autobot, besides Optimus himself, who showed no mercy at all to his opponents. I mean, sometimes we need an Autobot who fights on the side of good but does not show mercy to his opponents or anyone else. Bleh, I'm just rambling here, I hope you enjoyed this. If you want more work from me when I'm stuck on writer's block, then review or add it to your alerts. Until then, stay tuned.


	3. Jealous

Spiritimus Prime: Hey guys, sorry for not updating. I've been really busy lately and haven't had much time in typing up anything. I'm very pleased about the reviews, story alerts and favourites and I believe that there will be more coming as soon as this is added. XD Anyway, I hope you guys are doing just as good as I am because I plan to move out of home pretty soon. How soon I don't know. You'll just have to find out eventually. Till then, enjoy this wonderful update and a mention of one of my favourite Autobots.

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**Jealous**

It was an unusual thing to feel something he had never felt before. Sideswipe thought it was just some part of his imagination that was unknown to him, but he soon began to realise that it was not meant to be. The silver mech sat in the far corner of the Rec. Room, his head lowered, shadowing his optics and hiding them from anyone's sight, and his arms and legs crossed just to hide what he thought he wanted to hide in the hopes that no one would see what he was thinking.

At the far end of the room, the twins, Mudflap and Skids, wrestled each other as they bickered and argued about something that Sideswipe had failed to notice. Watching their little skirmish was Jolt and Ironhide, but none of them were really paying much attention to the twins or Sideswipe because they were busy talking about things that regarded a current situation that did not involve the silver mech himself.

Sideswipe felt his body twitch as the small red mech, Mudflap, picked up his brother and flung him into a wall, laughing as he watched Skids pick himself off the floor and brushed his right arm, as if there were dust sticking to his green armour. Sideswipe felt his muscle cables twitch once more as Skids stuck his glossa out and rushed towards Mudflap again, tackling him in a similar manner of a football player tackling an opponent on the legs. They rolled and twisted in perfect harmony until they slammed into a wall, laughing again in excitement and giddiness at their game.

"Ya must be getting old," Mudflap teased as he picked himself up and glancing down at his twin. "What's da matter with ya?"

"I ain't getting old, fur-face!" Skids shot back and he lunged towards Mudflap, only to fall flat on his face as his brother stepped to one side. "I'm just outta practise, that's all."

Mudflap rolled his optics and picked Skids up, acting like as if he weighed like nothing, and flung him over his should, causing Skids to land right in front of Sideswipe, who was doing his best to keep as quiet as he possibly could, but the shaking of his light armour caused Skids to turn his head and look at him with his odd looking face. "Hey, Sides," he greeted. "Want to join us?"

The silver speed demon turned his head away, pretending that he didn't notice Skids appearing in his view and interrupting his thoughts. The skirmish between Mudflap and Skids had triggered a variety of memories, causing them to surface and reopen scars that Sideswipe wanted to forget. They were memories of pain, happiness, and sadness, all of them good and bad. Those days of when he wrestled with his twin brother, Sunstreaker, had long been forgotten up until now when he saw the brothers act in the same way as he and Sunny had.

"Cybertron to Sideswipe, are ya listenin', man?" Mudflap called as he waved a hand in Sideswipe's face. The silver mech jumped and leapt to his feet, bringing his wrist blade out from his right arm and lashed out at the small red mech, causing him to yelp in surprise and fall backwards. Sideswipe stood over him and blinked his blue optics when he saw the situation he had just caused. Mudflap was on his back on the floor, staring up at him in horror while the silver mech's wrist blade was just inches from his neck.

Ironhide and Jolt had heard the commotion and had rushed over to see what was going on, only to see Skids, Mudflap, and Sideswipe in their little incident. Jolt stared at Sideswipe while Ironhide glared at the twins, as if he was blaming them for causing all of this mess. "What happened?" the weapons specialist asked, his tone cold.

Sideswipe took a few steps back, his wrist blade returning to its resting place. He said nothing to answer Ironhide's question. He had nothing to say for what he had almost commenced and he would rather not face the consequences for his actions. However, that did not mean he was going to be let off easily. An Autobot always had to face judgement on the things he had done wrong. And since he had almost killed a fellow warrior, it became obvious to Sideswipe that this could be an extremely big punishment for him, probably worse than what he had faced in the past.

"I think we scared 'im," Skids sniggered, snapping Sideswipe out of his thoughts.

Jolt frowned. He knew Sideswipe better than anyone else. He knew that Sideswipe would never do anything so stupid unless he had something on his mind that had led to this unusual event. Anyone that had disturbed in the past had ended up as good as dead with Sideswipe getting thrown into the brig for a few Earth months or more just to settle the punishment.

"You didn't scare me," Sideswipe spoke up. "I was in the middle of thinking when you, Mudflap, leapt in front of my face. Obviously you forget that no one can sneak up on me and get away with it. If you had been a Decepticon, I would've dismantled you into a Borg Cube."

Skids stuck out his glossa again mockingly. "Oh, I'm so scared!" he laughed. "Whatever shall I do?"

"Nothing if you know what's good for you!" Jolt snarled as he edged towards the twins, his optic shutters forming into a frown as he lifted an arm in a threatening manner in an attempt to hit them for being so foolish. "Youse two are a pain in the aft."

"Quiet!" Ironhide bellowed.

Everyone jumped in surprise and went into dead silence. The whole room seemed to go quiet as soon as Ironhide had yelled in a manner similar to that of Ratchet's threatening tone. It wasn't like Ironhide to yell like that, but when he did get snappy or angry, he was careful to let steam out in his favourite area, the Training Room, just so that he did not hurt a fellow Autobot.

"For the love of Primus!" the old warrior hissed. "I don't care what happens between you, but if you're going to have a little fight like that, take it in the Training Room." He turned to Sideswipe. "As for you," he snarled. "Attacking an Autobot like that is not the way how we work, or did you forget that?"

Sideswipe scowled. "I didn't forget!" he snapped. "I just have a lot on my mind. I don't have to explain my actions to you or anyone else. And I'm unapologetic for what had just happened between Mudflap and I. If you expect me to come right out and say sorry to him, the answer is no and always will be."

"Then explain your reasons for acting so foolishly like that," Jolt said quietly. "You rarely do that kind of stuff. The only time that has ever happened was when your brother disappeared off the face of Cybertron."

The silver mech flinched at the word 'brother' like as if he had been slapped across the face. He lowered his head and looked away. The only ones who knew about his loneliness for Sunstreaker were Optimus Prime and Jolt. Why did Jolt have to bring up that word that he did not want to hear again?

The memories during the Great War returned to him like water refilling an empty cup. They were memories of him and his brother working alongside each other like they always did whenever they were called to battle. The brothers shared a very unique bond between them. Because of their differences in their views and their personalities they clashed like all siblings did but were quick to forgive and forget in most cases.

However, their lives had changed forever when the war became too much for them.

Both Sideswipe and Sunstreaker had been separated from each other when a Decepticon ambushed them. Sunstreaker had been missing ever since that fateful day and Sideswipe had longed to search for him, but the war had kept him too busy to even think about searching for him. However, all Sideswipe could do was keep their brotherly bond open in the hopes that Sunstreaker would use it to find him and become reunited once again.

"Kid, are you ok?" Ironhide said, once again turning Sideswipe's attention back to the present. "You look a little pale. Do you want Ratchet to look at you?"

Sideswipe shook his head. "I'm fine, 'Hide," he answered as he turned his back on the four mechs without glancing over his shoulder. "I just felt a feeling that I never had before. I don't want to talk about it at the moment and I don't want to hear the word 'brother' in front of me ever again. It brings back too many bad memories."

"I never said you had to tell me," Ironhide said sympathetically as he placed a hand on Sideswipe's shoulder and gave it a light squeeze before removing it. "However, that doesn't make up for what you almost pulled on Mudflap. I'll have to report this to Optimus. He'll probably send you in the brig. But, if you apologise to Mudflap, then I'll forgive and forget."

_Forgive and forget,_ Sideswipe thought sadly. _How I miss those three words from you, Sunny._ He felt his shoulders sag and he heaved a heavy sigh that almost escaped Jolt's audio receptors. He turned back to face his companions and felt the need to chew his bottom lip.

To him, the time to apologise to anyone had come and gone, even to his enemies. He was a proud warrior, a demon that was built and designed for the sole purpose of killing. He did not apologise to anyone because it was not in his programming, same with showing emotions to his comrades. He never called them friends because he didn't need any at all. Fighting was all he lived for now that Sunstreaker wasn't here beside him to even live it either.

However, that didn't mean he would give up on his desperate search for him. No matter what it took, Sideswipe would find his brother, no matter what, even if he was dead. He would need proof of a body, and plus, he would feel it in their bond if Sunstreaker was killed.

"I cannot apologise," Sideswipe finally answered. "Never have. Never will. To apologise means you are weak to everyone you stand around, including your opponents. What difference does it make if I say I was sorry to a couple of kids who don't even have the mental capacity to think twice about a situation?"

Jolt hung his head low in disappointment. So this was how Sideswipe was going to be? It was not his choice to make, it had been Sideswipe's. He knew that Sideswipe cared about his friends, but he never had it in himself to admit that he did. Even if he said he did love everyone, he always believed that saying sorry or saying that he cared would bring forth too much emotions that would cause him to lose focus in the field of battle. And it was something he could never afford to do.

Ironhide chewed his bottom lip in frustration but he said nothing. Sideswipe had made his choice. "Alright," he said softly, "I'll report this to Optimus. Leaving the battlegrounds unpunished is not was he's capable of. We've been punished before from the reckless things we've committed and I'm sure he's not going to stop. Believe me, it ain't gonna be pretty, kid."

The young silver mech shrugged his shoulders. "I don't care," he said a little coldly. "Do what you like."

"As you wish."

Sideswipe backed away from the group and retreated to a corner, away from them, away from the twins. The unfamiliar tugging of a feeling he had never experienced before resurfaced again. It nagged at his Spark, demanding that he say what it was. He now knew what it was but didn't want to say it out loud. There were two feelings now: one that he knew and one that he didn't know. But he came to a realisation that the feelings were jealousy and guilt.

He knew that the jealousy had come from when he had watched the twins wrestle each other like he and Sunstreaker had done all those years ago whenever they had a disagreement or during training. The guilty feeling, however, was not understandable. Yes, he would admit it that he guilty, but he would not say why. Perhaps he was guilty about not saying sorry to Mudflap or because he just didn't have it in him to accept the fact that Sunstreaker was dead and was never coming home because he didn't look for him when he had the chance.

_I'll find you, Sunstreaker,_ he thought. _Wherever you are, I will find you someday. Please, just be alive for me so that we can be reunited..._ _I need to know that you're ok._

_

* * *

_Spiritimus Prime: Hey guys! I hope you enjoyed this chapter because I am all for one in doing another. Writing oneshots about a new character and bringing up his personality is heaps of fun to me. Damn, I just love him so much! ROTF Sides needs lots of constant attention and love. Seriously people, you need to start writing about him and spread the Sideswipe love! Till the next oneshot, stay tuned!


	4. Exploring

**Exploring**

It was a beautiful sunny morning on the beach of Diego Garcia. The waves were gently washing up against the crystal white sand, leaving tiny red crabs as they crawled out onto the beach. The crabs ignored the hungry squawks of silver gulls as they marched across the sand, leaving tiny footprints to show that they had been there only a short while ago.

The sun was just peaking over the horizon, casting a warm glow across the landscape. Its bright rays made the sky appear to be a mixture of blood red and violet. Even as the night sky faded away into daylight, there were still traces of the Evening Star as well as the many stars that had yet to disappear behind the familiar blue sky that was just beginning to emerge from between the unusual shades of violet and blood red.

As the sun grew higher in the sky, a silver streak sped across the sandy, white beach. It was a silver Chevrolet Corvette Stingray concept car. Its back wheels picked up gushes of sand as it drove along with no purpose whatsoever. It seemed like the vehicle had no intentions on a destination or of anything else concerning its matters.

As the vehicle turned a corner into a forest of gigantic pine-trees, it shifted into a fifteen foot tall, silver robot with gigantic blades on its wrist. Baby blue optics glowed brightly in the early morning sun. The pine-trees hid the robot from plain sight as it glanced around its surroundings, trying to see where it was and what position it was in. By the looks of it, it was at the east side of the N.E.S.T perimeter, the unexplored section of the island.

Sideswipe sighed to himself as he looked up at the pine-trees that blocked most of his view of the above world. "Why," he said to himself, "would Optimus send me away from the base?" Sometimes he didn't understand his leader's full intentions, but he could only guess at a few things. Maybe it had something to do with his previous argument with Ironhide and the twins, Mudflap and Skids?

Whatever it was, Sideswipe knew that he would not be called back for a long while. The Decepticons had not been sighted since the Battle in Egypt. It seemed like it had happened only a lifetime ago, but to Sideswipe, it had happened just seconds ago. Action, war, and endless fighting were all he was good at, and peace was never a good time for him. He had to be on his toes (or tyres) all the time and he felt that none of his companions understood how he felt about these quiet times. Mostly he just spent nearly all his life training up for the next battle, then the one after that, and so on and so forth.

How could he, Sideswipe, a war machine, ever live like this? Somehow, he didn't think he would ever hope to live through this quiet time... To him, it just didn't seem right to be relaxing. No, he couldn't do it, ever.

So, Optimus thought it would be necessary to send the young mech outside for a while. For how long the while was it was up to the Autobot Commander. It didn't matter anyway. What was the point anyway?

Sideswipe rolled his optics at Optimus' judgement. He respected his leader greatly, but that didn't stop him from brushing his orders aside and doing things his own way. That, unfortunately, had almost cost him his own life. Because of his foolishness of endangering the humans, he had been close to being terminated.

_Let them try and terminate me again, _Sideswipe thought bitterly. But when he remembered the seriousness of the situation, he instantly relaxed and focused on the things that were around him. He sighed and turned towards the only mountain that lay on the island. Perhaps a little exploration might clear his thoughts and help him to refocus on the task that would be coming in the future. _I'll look forward to it when the time comes eventually_.

Remembering Ironhide's and Optimus' words of heeding life, Sideswipe carefully manoeuvred his way through the thick pine-forest. He only used his sharp blades to cut down a single tree when he couldn't bypass any of the trees. He pressed onwards, the trees getting thicker, and he had to use his blades more frequently.

After nearly an hour of cutting trees and trying to get past the obstacles that blocked his path, Sideswipe finally reached a clearing. Beyond the clearing was the salt lake with the single mountain in the middle of it. Sideswipe guessed that the mountain would be surrounded by flat land that would be perfect for those that were used to it for maintaining their speed and agility. He wasn't sure how far the flat land would stretch around the mountain, but he could only guess.

The silver mech peered down at the water curiously. Again, he could only guess about the depth of the lake. He wasn't as tall as Bumblebee, but he knew that he would not be able to swim across at all. The salt in the lake would most likely damage the insides of his circuitry if it got between his joints and armour, perhaps rusting his frame.

Deciding that he had gone far enough, Sideswipe looked around at the clearing he had entered. To him, it seemed a little bit small to hold his entire chassis, but if he shifted to his vehicle form, he may be able to fit. He could also see a tunnel of trees that was the right size for his vehicle mode on his left side. The right side was blocked off by a huge rock formation that was an unusual shape. It was a shape he had never even seen before.

There were actually three rocks. The tallest part of the rock was the same height as him, standing at a height of fifteen feet tall. It was shaped like a cone and was the colour of smoky grey. At the base was another cone shaped rock, which stuck out in an unusual way. Supporting the outside rock was the smallest rock he had ever seen. To a human, it might be a bit tall compared to it. The small rock stuck out of the ground, separated from the other two, but it still prevented the middle rock from falling, like as if it was acting as a leg to give it some support.

Sideswipe knelt next to the rock formation and placed a hand on it, using his sensitive fingers to scan it to get a better view of it. When he had finished, he realised that he had seen this rock formation from somewhere before. He knew it was from a human youngling's movie he had watched when the humans, Sam and Mikaela, visited the island and showed some movies to the Autobots. He couldn't remember what it was about, but he knew that the rock formation matched the one that was standing before him.

"Perhaps I should have paid attention to the humans instead of thinking they were just being a nuisance," said Sideswipe. He scratched his head in the human gesture for confusion. He eventually shrugged his shoulders and turned away from the rock, but then he glanced at it again.

"I don't know about you," he said to the rock without thinking, "but I somehow like this place. Perhaps it may serve as my own getaway when I'm having trouble with my... companions." He looked over at the tree-tunnel. "And that may lead all the way back to the N.E.S.T base." He shrugged again. "There is only way to find out."

Taking a deep breath, Sideswipe stood in front of the tree-tunnel and transformed back into his vehicle form. _I don't think I'll ever get used to this..._ he thought, but he mentally shook his head and drove off carefully through the tree-tunnel.

As he drove, he was surprised to find a lot of twists and turns with very little straight roads. The leaves of the trees racked against his windshield, but he ignored the tickling sensation as they brushed his frame. He sniggered in amusement, but he continued onwards as the darkness of the tree-tunnel began to increase and he knew that the leaves were getting thicker.

None of this didn't bother him one bit. He turned on his headlights, brightening his world and letting him seeing further than he already was.

The tree-tunnel then gave way to a straight line and Sideswipe saw a bright light coming towards him. He turned off his headlights as he braced himself for it. But, to his surprise, he could hear voices on the other side. Concerned voices, they sounded.

"I can't seem to get a signal out to him," said the first voice. "Normally I wouldn't be worried about Sideswipe, knowing that he can take care of himself, but his absence has been too long and my worry increases."

"I too grow concerned for him as well, Jolt," replied the second voice, its tone a deep, familiar baritone. "But, wherever he is, I am sure that he is cooling down, even as I speak, and wishes to have some time to himself. He is a warrior, and warriors don't know what to do with themselves when we are having downtimes."

"Why should we worry about Sideswipe, Prime?" the third voice huffed: Ironhide. "I say we leave him out there until he comes crawling back to us."

Sideswipe slowed down until he neared the end of the tree-tunnel. When he had stopped, he eased forward quietly and peered through the leaves. There, right near the entrance of the tunnel was Jolt, Optimus Prime, and Ironhide. Jolt and Ironhide were standing in front of Optimus, their backs turned to the tree-tunnel's entrance while Optimus stood in front of the N.E.S.T base's entrance.

The Autobot leader's calm gaze was fixed on Jolt and Ironhide as they talked. Sideswipe could sense the concern in his tone as he spoke and he knew that Optimus was feeling guilty about getting gruff with him about his fight with the twins and Ironhide. Knowing Jolt, his best friend, he would be feeling unhappy for not going after him to chat to him about his problem with the twins. Ironhide wouldn't admit it, but Sideswipe also knew that he too was concerned about his old student.

"I should not have been so hard on him," said Optimus a little sadly. "I know how much he misses Sunstreaker. Having a twin brother and being separated from one another can be hard. With Mudflap and Skids still together, Sideswipe is jealous that they don't have to endure what he is going through."

"We don't know what happened to Sunstreaker," said Jolt. "All I know is that he went missing when Demolisher attacked Sideswipe's city. As far as he's told me, he can still sense Sunny, but can't seem to reach out for him through their link."

Ironhide snorted, acting like he didn't care. However, Sideswipe knew that, deep down, he did.

Sighing softly, Sideswipe honked his horn, startling all three Autobots, and drove out of the tree-tunnel. "You can stop talking about me now," he said as he transformed and skated up to the little group.

"Where were you?" Optimus asked, his concern melting away into relief. He watched in amusement as Jolt walked up to Sideswipe and embraced him in a brotherly hug. If anything should happen to Sunstreaker, then it would be possible that Jolt might be able to act as Sideswipe's brother. Not to refill the hole and replace Sunstreaker, but to help Sideswipe understand that you can move on.

"Exploring, Prime, sir," Sideswipe answered simply as he allowed Jolt to hug him. "I needed some downtime from today and clear my head. I wasn't thinking straight when I fought with the twins."

"Did you find anything interesting?" Ironhide asked.

"Yes and no." Sideswipe turned back to Optimus. "I'm..." he hesitated for a moment, "sorry about before, sir. With Sunstreaker missing, I can't seem to focus myself anymore. Without my brother... I'm nothing but a plain warrior to all of you."

Optimus shook his head and placed a hand on Sideswipe's shoulder, his optics were filled with firmness and kindness. "No, Sideswipe, you're wrong. When you killed Sideways in Shanghai, Sunstreaker was not there. You did it yourself. Even without your brother, you can do things better without him. I'm not saying that you are better off without him, I'm saying that you can do things on your own."

Sideswipe sighed again. He knew Optimus was trying to give him encouragement, but it didn't seem to be working for him. He removed Optimus' hand from his shoulder. "You don't understand," he said softly, "I need Sunny because he is my brother. Without him, I have nothing. I am a warrior, he is a warrior. We are both warriors. We do things together and we always will. We lived together, and we will die together. Don't try telling me something that I don't know. While I live, he lives. Both our Sparks are still pulsing as one and I can sense that he is out there, looking for me. I will not rest until he comes back to me, alive and well."

Sideswipe then turned and headed back inside the N.E.S.T base, not caring if he was being stared at in the back. He knew that Jolt was determined to follow him, but he sensed him being held back by Ironhide. He switched his audio receptors off just as Jolt spoke to Ironhide to let him go. He heard no more.

The deafness felt good to him, and he would rather be back in the clearing than be here listening to Optimus' words of kindness. To him, it was all a waste of time. For him, there was no room for mercy, kindness, and compassion. All he wanted was his brother back.

_And I'm going to keep on waiting until you come home to me, brother._

* * *

Spiritimus Prime: Yeah, I updated this instead of _Guardian Angel_. My muse refused to cooperate and decided to go on strike. So, while I thought, I decided to write the next oneshot to this. Yeah, more grieving on missing Sunny. My muse is such a big sonovabitch, that's as far as I'm concerned. I dunno what's wrong with me. Maybe I just need a bit more encouragement or something? I hope you enjoed this!


	5. Respectful

**Respectful**

It was the worst day of his long life… Why, oh why, did he have to go and do it? He should never have pulled a stunt like that. Now, here he was, stuck, face to face with the strongest opponent he had ever faced in his entire life. Sure he was brave enough to take on Megatron – heck he even dared to take him on once – but this was different compared to who he was up against. It was fragging ridiculous!

_Note to self: don't ever pull a stunt like that again… _The silver speedster sighed as he stared emotionlessly at his opponent, who stood on the opposite side of the room, behind his desk. He too looked cool, calm and collected, but Sideswipe didn't need to read emotions to predict his words. No, all he needed to do was watch his body movements extremely carefully. So carefully that it would be impossible to tell where he was going to speak as well.

"And why is this necessary?" the familiar, smoky baritone voice questioned, snapping Sideswipe from his thoughts and back into reality. "Surely you remember why I brought you here in my office." He must've guessed that he wasn't paying much attention.

Sideswipe gulped a little. In truth, he had forgotten Optimus' reasons for dragging him into his office. Normally Jolt was always the one to drag him out into the Training Room because he wanted to try and beat him in combat. Unfortunately, the younger, and less experienced warrior couldn't seem to beat the silver mech at all. This left Sideswipe to train Jolt in order to stop him from bothering him time and time again. It worked, but it never stopped Jolt from trying to make an attempt in defeating him in single combat whenever he felt he was ready to take him on.

"No, sir, I don't," said Sideswipe and he lowered his head, shaking it.

The Autobot commander sighed. "Do you recall what you did to set me off?"

Now that Sideswipe thought about it and was reminded about what had happened, it almost seemed like it had happened just yesterday. But then he remembered it had. But it seemed like it was a lifetime ago, like as if it had happened just shortly after he had emerged from his cocoon, when he had first started his life as a hatchling.

"I do believe so, sir."

* * *

_Sideswipe skated down the passage way, ignoring the stares of awe from the humans and the sudden bickering from the twins, Mudflap and Skids, who were fighting again like they always did. He ignored the sounds, but he watched where he put his feet when he rolled by the humans. _

_He cared little for the humans, but reminders from Ironhide told him that he had to heed to wishes of his commander. Regardless of this, Sideswipe still found the humans inferior to himself, but he knew better than to argue with Optimus Prime. It was hard, he knew that much, but he would rather suffer the wrath of Ironhide than Optimus' own._

"_Look out!"_

_Sideswipe snapped back into reality and skidded to one side, avoiding collision with an Autobot. By instinct, he unleashed his blades and turned towards the threat in the hopes of chopping off their head before they could do damage to him. But, before he could do any damage to his foe, a blade appeared from out of nowhere and blocked his attempted attack._

_The silver mech's vision suddenly cleared and he blinked his blue optics, only to see a red and yellow mech staring back at him with a furious expression of his own: it was Hot Rod, one of his students._

_Sideswipe backed away, removing his blade from Hot Rod's. He stared at him, angry that he had almost killed his own student. Not only that, Hot Rod had surprised him when he had shouted at him to get out of the way. No one ever spoke to him like that, not even Ironhide, who respected the silver mech's own will and determination._

"_Why don't you watch where you were going, youngling!" he hissed angrily at the young mech. He watched in satisfaction as Hot Rod chewed his bottom lip in frustration. Sideswipe always called him that whenever he wasn't paying attention in his lessons and this was one of those times when Hot Rod hadn't been paying any attention to what was in front of him._

"_Stop treating me like as if I _AM_ a youngling!" Hot Rod snapped. "You were the one who was busy drifting through Nowhere Land and wasn't looking where you were going. Why do you always act like this towards me and not anyone else?"_

_Sideswipe shook his head, his facial expression unreadable. He didn't want to give Hot Rod the satisfaction that he had hit a nerve underneath his __armour__. It was true __that he treated Hot Rod like a kid, but he did treat everyone else, except Optimus, with little respect. Emotions, for Sideswipe, were just something not of this world that he thrived in: the world that he always saw as unfair._

"_What does it matter?" Sideswipe growled, keeping his emotions in check. "I have always lived this way. If you want my respect, you will have to work harder in your training. Now get out of my way before I'll make our training lessons harder than ever!"_

_Hot Rod bowed his head and stepped backwards, allowing Sideswipe to pass._

_Sideswipe nodded once to signify his word of thanks and started to roll forward to continue onwards back to the Training Room to sharpen up his skills and abilities that he had learned long ago. He didn't need to speak to get a message across. Body language was all that suited him and it was fine with him. Words were sometimes hard for him, but, when he spoke, he was always cold and gave little respect to everyone. He only respected those that would beat him a little combat fight._

_Suddenly, Sideswipe felt a large amount of weight come crashing down upon his back. He gave a startled yelp as he fell to the ground. His chin hit the ground and a sharp piece of debris pierced his face, cutting across his chin. It hurt, but it didn't feel painful enough to slow him down and nurse it. _

_He glanced behind him to see Hot Rod pinning him down in an aggressive manner, a manner that showed his anger and frustration. He felt the tension in his body, with the way he was pinning him so roughly, and he saw the fury and determination in the young mech's optics. Sideswipe had never seen Hot Rod so angry before, but he knew that this was only the tip of the iceberg. What lay beneath the surface, he could wait._

_Hot Rod immediately grabbed Sideswipe by the shoulders before he could move, turned him over until he was facing him, and began throwing powerful punches into his face. Sideswipe took the attacks with little acknowledgement to the punishment that Hot Rod was giving him. He just continued to stare at him with his proud optics, like as if the attacks were having no affect on him at all._

_During those furious attacks from the young mech, Sideswipe noticed something. Hot Rod had left himself wide open for a counterattack. Even during those punches, he noticed it all the time. He rolled his optics once, ignoring the feeling of Energon dripping down the corner of his lips, lifted his right three-fingered hand without Hot Rod's notice, and made a grab for Hot Rod's throat._

_His hand wrapped around Hot Rod's throat and he heard the satisfying gasp of surprise. If he had been an enemy, Sideswipe wouldn't have hesitated to kill him, but since he was a comrade-in-arms, an Autobot, he only lifted his middle finger and poked an exposed wire at the back of his neck._

_Hot Rod sat still for a moment as Sideswipe sat up and he slowly fell forward. Sideswipe immediately caught him with an open arm, supporting him with as much strength as he possibly could. Hot Rod didn't move. Not a single muscle cable twitched nor did he even batter his optic shutters._

_Hot Rod had been knocked out by his teacher._

_Aching and bleeding in several places, Sideswipe stood up, still supporting Hot Rod in his arms. He could hear the approaching feet of his Autobot comrades, but the heavier pounding of Optimus nearly caught him off guard. However, he was not surprised to see at least four of the Autobots there, including Optimus Prime. But he was _very_ surprised to see Jolt, Ratchet, and another mech he had never seen before._

"_What's going on?" demanded Optimus Prime, but when he saw Hot Rod lying in Sideswipe's arms and the Energon dripping down Sideswipe's face, he knew instantly what had happened. "Sideswipe, come with me. We are going to my office." He turned to Jolt, Ratchet, and the other mech. "Ratchet, take Hot Rod with you to the Medical Bay, Jolt and Prowl will assist you." He then turned to walk away without even bothering to glance over his shoulder to see if Sideswipe was following him or not. But Sideswipe knew that Optimus would know he would follow him anyway._

"_Yes, sir," Sideswipe and Ratchet said at the same time. _

_Sideswipe handed Hot Rod to the green mech and he followed his leader towards his office. He was fully aware that Jolt was looking at him with surprise and that he knew he was guessing what may have happened to cause all this mess. Yes, his closest friend was probably guessing. He couldn't read minds, but Sideswipe could tell, by the look on his surprised face, that he was searching for an answer to the puzzling question: why?_

* * *

"Sideswipe?"

Sideswipe shook his head from his memories and stared back at his leader. He had been so busy focusing on recalling the thoughts on what had happened that he had failed to hear what Optimus had said earlier. He shook his head again and rubbed it. He was suddenly shocked that his bleeding face was still bleeding from the severe punches that Hot Rod had thrown at him.

"Sideswipe," said Optimus, snapping Sideswipe's focus to him, "what exactly stirred up Hot Rod? He never gets angry unless someone may have pulled a wire in him."

Sideswipe bowed his head. "I stirred him up, sir," he replied. "I should never have treated him like a youngling. Yes, I am fully aware that he is a little younger than me, but that gave me no right to call him something he does not like to be called."

Optimus stood up and Sideswipe flinched when he saw the look in his optics that he knew so well. It was a look that always set everyone off whenever they were in trouble with him. But Sideswipe knew that he could never weave his way out of this situation. This was what he had to face and he would do it without a hesitation.

"I want you," said Optimus sternly, "to go and see how Hot Rod is doing. What you said to him was not very Autobot-like. For your misgivings, I shall punish you by making you Ratchet's apprentice for an Earth month. You will be starting as soon as he gives the word. Now leave my office."

The proud, silver warrior bowed his head respectfully to his leader. "As you wish, sir," he mumbled quietly, but loud enough for Optimus to hear. He then turned tail and headed for the Medical Bay to see how Hot Rod was doing. He hadn't meant to cause all of this trouble, but he knew that his own arrogance had led him into situations he was not proud of in the past.

* * *

When he walked into the Med Bay, Sideswipe knew he was in even bigger trouble with Ratchet than he was with Optimus. The quiet beeps of machines and the clattering of Ratchet's movements were the only things he could hear besides his conscious thinking at the back of his mind.

At the far end of the room, just out of sight, Sideswipe could make out Ratchet moving back and forth, gathering up tools to and putting them back on his desk in a neat line, including his infamous wrenches that he liked to throw at his friends whenever he lost his temper.

Ratchet stopped his work when he saw Sideswipe standing in the middle of his Med Bay. "Ah, Sideswipe, you're here," he said. "Optimus told me about your punishment. We'll get started tomorrow. Be here at oh five hundred. Got me straight? I expect you to not be late, or else I'll have Optimus punish you further."

"Yes, Ratchet."

"Don't 'yes Ratchet' me, Sideswipe!" Ratchet snapped. "I expect you to call me 'sir' like you do with Optimus. My law is law in this room. I answer to no one but Optimus himself."

"Yes, _sir_!" Sideswipe growled. "Ow!" He rubbed his head as Ratchet bonked him on the head with a wrench. Hard.

"Rule No.1: Don't growl at me!" The green mech stared coldly at Sideswipe. His optics bore into his like ice that was as cold as his own. Sideswipe shrunk back a little from Ratchet's anger, but he didn't flinch all the way back.

"Sorry," he apologised for the first time. It was a good thing no one else was around to hear him say it. He failed to notice the shocked look on Ratchet's look on his apology. "Can I see Hot Rod? I need to speak with him and..." he gulped, "apologise for what I said to him. Is he awake yet?"

Ratchet shook off his shock and regathered his thoughts. "Alright, you may see him. But make it quick. I have to give him a couple of painkillers. His fists are still sore from all the punching he inflicted on your steel face."

Sideswipe smirked and headed towards the wide-awake Hot Rod. He was lying on a berth with bandages wrapped around his fists. He had his arms crossed and, by the looks of his face, he was in a foul mood and appeared to not want to talk to anybody after his little skirmish with the proud warrior.

"Hot Rod," Sideswipe spoke up as he approached. "Can I talk to you?"

Hot Rod didn't look at Sideswipe like he had expected him to do so. Sideswipe understood that he was not going to talk to him first. It was best that he took the more serious approach instead of the usual kind of tactic he always took when it came to dealing with stubborn students. This was one of those difficult moments.

"It doesn't matter," said Sideswipe reluctantly, "I'm going to talk to you anyway since Optimus told me to. I don't care if you don't want me to, but I have to do it, whether I like it or not."

Hot Rod flinched when Sideswipe mentioned about Optimus. He obviously had respect for the Autobot commander too. Sideswipe heard him sigh and turned to look at the silver mech. Sideswipe could see that he too didn't want to talk about what they had just done to each other. However, Sideswipe guessed he was going to have to get it over and done with as well.

"Alright," the young mech said quietly, "tell me what you want to tell me."

Sideswipe nodded his approval to Hot Rod, mentally thanking Primus for giving him a chance to do this at all. "I would... like to apologise for what I had said to you, Hot Rod. I was out of my league and I stepped over the line by abusing my authority."

Hot Rod looked surprised by Sideswipe's words, but he let his teacher continue.

I can promise you that your training will not be so hard if you promise to continue with me being your teacher. Like you, I am also young and I still have a lot to learn myself. Sometimes I tend to forget that no one else is like me and never will be. There is only one of us and we can't change that."

Hot Rod looked shocked. "You're young? But you look older than Ratchet or Jolt."

Sideswipe chuckled. "Ah," he said, "I'm younger than Ratchet, but I'm a little older than Jolt. I've been all around the universe searching for the best possible fighting skill that I can use to defeat my opponents in battle. It's part of my programming as a soldier to do what I must in order for us to succeed in this war. Hence why I appear to be a lot more mature than what I appear to really be."

Hot Rod nodded and waited for Sideswipe to continue.

"As I told you before, Hot Rod, I respect those that defeat me in battle, and you did just that by standing up to me. And for that, I am proud to be your teacher. I am also proud of you that you have learnt your skills well. You show potential, just like Optimus told me, and I'm hoping to see more when your fists have recovered from your fight." Sideswipe then bowed his head in respect. "Can you forgive me for what I had said to you?"

The red and yellow mech smiled a little reluctantly and bowed his head back to Sideswipe. "It's alright, Sides, there's nothing to forgive." His smile improved a little more. "I shouldn't have attacked you like that. It was disrespectful of me to lose my temper to a good teacher like you."

Sideswipe laughed a warm hearty laugh that made both mechs feel better. Hot Rod laughed with him too, but then he remembered his sore fists and he rubbed them painfully. He looked up at his friend and asked, "So how did Optimus punish you?"

Sideswipe smirked and tapped his nose in the human gesture for secrecy. "I think you can only guess," he chuckled.

* * *

Spiritimus Prime: Yeah, another update. But this just just gives me all the more reason to love Sideswipe even more. I've put a poll up to ask a favor from you. Which one should I update more than anything. I was hoping to work on this a bit more often, but your opinion is good enough for me.

Also, I'm thinking about making another 28 Meme Challenge, but this time for Jolt. The reason why I'm making these two Memes is so I can do some character development for future stories, such as my story for Sideswipe. Sheesh, I hope I'm doing a good job, because I love Sideswipe and Jolt, even though they showed little personality. :D


	6. Furious

**Furious**

If there was one word that described Sideswipe, it was… cold. Normally he wasn't always cold, but times of fighting had brought out deep feelings of anger, hatred, aggression, and fury. All of those feelings are what made Sideswipe as he was today if it weren't for certain encounters with Decepticons throughout his long life. However, despite all those feelings known to everyone and described by them, the silver mech knew that they still did not know _everything_ about him.

No, he had these feelings for a reason.

The only ones who knew about these disguised feelings were Optimus Prime, Ironhide, and… his brother… who was somewhere out in the depths of space. Sideswipe didn't know where because the bond had been stretched to its far-away limits, but he knew that he was not dead. If he was dead he would've felt it and known about it in a matter of seconds.

Sideswipe growled as he stayed perfectly motionless in the Training Room. This place was his sanctuary whenever Ironhide wasn't around. It was the only place where he felt at home if he didn't have the young mech, Hot Rod, to train.

It was also the one place where he could be alone with no one to bother him; not even Optimus wanted to disturb him whenever the silver mech did not want to be disturbed during his times of insane distress about the possible loss of his brother. Being separated for so long was beginning to drive him to the brink of unpredictable fits of rage and fury that would result in him being locked in the brig for several hours, depending on the damage that had been done.

He lowered his head for a brief moment, trying to clear his mind.

The blades in his wrist deployed.

Turning his optics back online, Sideswipe growled again and launched towards his imagined opponent. His blades glinted in the bright light as he lowered his right blade, the tip lightly touching the ground as he focused his equilibrium systems, leapt in the air and twisted his body in a similar motion to when he took down Sideways.

As he leapt, five drones raced beneath him and he fired his double-barreled machine gun that was mounted on his wrists. He watched in satisfaction as three of them exploded, their dying screeches reaching his audio receptors, but he paid little heed to them.

Before he landed on his wheeled feet, he released his right blade and it slammed into the last two drones. The light from the explosion illuminated the silver mech, turning him bright orange for no more than a split second before it died down, returning him to his normal silver. However, it did not stop his bright blue optics from glowing their deepest blue to baby blue.

Standing up straight and listening to the clattering of the debris as it landed at the front of his feet, Sideswipe was not aware of someone being present until the sound of the explosion died down. When he turned, he was very surprised to see Hot Rod and Ironhide standing in the middle of the doorway, glancing at the disposed drones he had destroyed.

"You've been busy," Ironhide smirked as he looked at the mess that Sideswipe had made.

"I have to in order to keep focused," Sideswipe replied as he glanced down at his feet, suddenly finding it more interesting than his guests. When he looked up again, he saw that Hot Rod had approached one of the broken drones, picked it up and was turning it around in his four-fingered hands.

"Why?" he asked when he looked at his mentor.

Sideswipe sighed as he too picked up one of the drones' heads. He poked it in the optics and then sliced it in half with one of his blades tips. "Because," he said simply, "if we are to win this war, we must all be focused." He handed Hot Rod one half of the head and he tossed the other half in his other hand. "However," he went on, "some of us cannot seem to focus. Despite our best efforts, we all intend to lose our focus."

Ironhide nodded as he took the half from Hot Rod's hands. "No matter what we do," he said softly, "we always lose it, no matter what. Even your mentor does as well. He proved that in the fight Demolisher. He was so busy focusing on his opponent that he lost sight of what we were truly fighting for."

Hot Rod frowned. "What are we fighting for anyway?"

"We are fighting for the good of the Universe," Sideswipe quickly answered. "Not just for the good of humanity."

"You say it like it's a bad thing," said Ironhide as he crushed the drone's head between his fingers. He then threw it aside and glanced back at the silver mech, his blue optics focused on him intensively.

The silver mech sighed again and threw the drone's head back on the ground. He then lifted his foot and smashed it beneath his wheel. He ignored the buzzing sound of electricity zapping from disconnected wires. He felt the slight jolts but he paid little heed to it too. What did it matter anyway? All he felt was the numbness of being hollow and alone without the closeness of his brother.

"What are you here for anyway?" he asked.

"Don't change the subject!" Ironhide growled as he pointed one of his cannons at Sideswipe, but he didn't even flinch as if he was expecting it to happen. "Answer my question!"

Hot Rod lifted his hand and forced the elder to lower his cannon. "And you're telling me that I have a temper," he joked, trying to ease the tension between them. "Look just leave him alone Ironhide. You know just as well as I do that he's missing his brother. You told me so yourself."

Sideswipe glared at Ironhide. "**You had no right**!" he snapped furiously, causing Ironhide to flinch at his raised tone. "How would you like it if I blabbered out _**your**_ secrets?" He then twirled gracefully and pointed one of his blades at Ironhide's throat. It then broke in half like a pair of scissors and surrounded Ironhide's neck. "You told _**him**_ didn't you?"

Suddenly there was a blur of red and yellow and Sideswipe found himself being blocked off by Hot Rod. The young mech grabbed Sideswipe's arm and thrust it away from Ironhide, placing it back against Sideswipe's side and he stared angrily at his mentor.

"No," he shouted, "Ironhide did not tell me!"

"Then how did you find out?" Sideswipe demanded angrily.

Hot Rod shoved Ironhide backwards and then made a gesture with his hand, a sign for him to leave him with the silver mech. Ironhide nodded, understanding what the young mech had in mind for his mentor. He then turned to walk away, but he glanced over his shoulder to see if it was a good idea. Hot Rod waved a hand to him, letting him know that he knew what he was doing. Ironhide nodded again and walked out, leaving Hot Rod and Sideswipe alone.

When they were on their own, Hot Rod turned to glance up at Sideswipe, his optics were determined and filled with an undying set of emotions that Sideswipe had never seen in his student before. He was puzzled and confused as to why the flamed mech would try and knock some sense into him, but he still didn't think he could. He had other things to worry about.

"Tell me," said Sideswipe softly, his tone still angry. "How did you know about my brother?"

Hot Rod sighed and lowered his head.

Sideswipe titled his own to one side, his confusion growing. He didn't understand what Hot Rod had in mind, but he knew that it all had something to do with listening in on a conversation he might have had with himself or the possibility of him having one of his mental breakdowns when no one was around or when Ratchet found him alone to help him control his emotions.

"I..." began Hot Rod, but he stuttered a little.

Sideswipe heard his student gulp, but he patiently waited.

"I was wandering through the corridors near the recharging quarters. I was on my way to see Optimus and Prowl about an assignment they had for me. But when I walked past your quarters I heard growling, a voice and Cybertronian curses." Hot Rod shivered. "At first I thought it was a Decepticon and, remembering my training with you, I grew cautious and leaned against the wall and listened."

Hot Rod looked up at Sideswipe, his facial expression almost unreadable. "I didn't mean to listen in on your privacy, but I was worried about you and thought something might've happened to you."

Sideswipe's features softened. "What did you hear?" he asked, his tone getting lower with understanding. He knew that Hot Rod was young and naive at times, but he also knew that the young mech had potential and was a formidable warrior on the battlefield. He might appear to be lazy, but Hot Rod proved that he had learned his skills well.

Hot Rod gulped again, looking a little nervous. "I heard you were crying, begging for Sunstreaker to come back to you before you lost your sanity. I heard things clattering to the ground and guessed that you were smashing up your quarters. You continued to scream, as if you were in agony and could do nothing. You demanded to Primus that you wanted your brother back and kept asking why He did it to separate you two."

"What happened after that?"

"I grew so worried about you that I couldn't take it anymore," Hot Rod went on. "I ran as fast as I could to Optimus' office. I think Ratchet heard me going past 'cause he asked me where the fire was. I ignored him and kept on running until I got to my destination."

Sideswipe smiled slightly. "I guess," he said, "that would explain why Optimus, Prowl, and Ratchet came into my quarters. I don't remember much because I was in such a traumatic state. However, I remember being pinned down by Optimus and Prowl while Ratchet ordered someone to stay back and then he shot me with a stun gun that sent me into automatic stasis lock."

Hot Rod nodded. "That was me Ratchet ordered to stay back," he replied. "He didn't want me to get in the way while he knocked you unconscious. While Ratchet and Prowl carried you to the Med Bay, Optimus looked over to me and told me that he was proud of me for doing the right thing on coming to get him and the others. I asked about why you were like this, but he told me that it was confidential and that I should ask you when I felt you were ready to talk. I thought now was a good time."

Sideswipe was shocked. He hadn't expected that it would be Hot Rod who had collected Optimus Prime, Prowl, and Ratchet while he had been having one of his breakdowns about not having his brother so close to his Spark like he had felt him to be. He sensed he was so far away and he knew that he won't be able to sense Sunstreaker's death. He won't unless he suddenly had this empty feeling inside.

"Sideswipe? Are you ok?"

The silver mech shook his head and glanced over at his student, a warm smile crossing his lips. "Yes," he answered, "I am well. I just have a lot on my processor and require time to think about a few things."

"Are you sure?" Hot Rod asked. "Do you want to do something to take your mind off of today?"

Sideswipe's smile grew. "If you mean training and taking down drones," he said, "then of course."

Hot Rod smiled back. "I'm up for a challenge, teacher," he teased as he deployed his blades. "Come on! Show me what you've got!" He then backed off several steps and got into a fighting stance in a similar manner to Sideswipe's whenever he was about to charge into battle. "Come on!" he called again.

Sideswipe laughed in amusement at Hot Rod's eagerness. He sounded so determined and so full of himself. "You're on!" He then released his own blades. "Here I come. Prepare yourself!" He then launched towards Hot Rod.

_CLANG!_

Their blades collided together, sparks flying in the wake of the attacks. Sideswipe couldn't help but smile again as he lashed out his right foot underneath his opponent's feet, knocking Hot Rod to the ground. Sideswipe skated to one side quickly and threw a punch straight towards Hot Rod's face. He watched in satisfaction as Hot Rod rolled to one side, attempting to dodge the punch that was not intended to draw Energon.

His dodge was successful and he quickly stood back up and charged straight towards his teacher. They slammed into each other, fists flying as they struggled to take advantage over the other whenever an opportunity presented itself. But both mechs refused to give up until someone did.

Sideswipe eventually landed a punch on Hot Rod's face, leaving a small dent on his face. Hot Rod growled a bit and he threw his own, but Sideswipe dodged the attempt swiftly and head-butted him. He didn't want to hurt his student too badly, but it was what was meant to be. To learn how to fight, you must do everything you could to gain the advantage, even if it meant deceiving somebody. But that was not how an Autobot worked.

While the two sparred together, none of them were aware of a figure watching them in amazement and awe. The figure had never seen anything like it with Sideswipe and Hot Rod. He'd been hoping to see that Sideswipe would eventually calm down, but he had been wrong when Ratchet had told him that the separation of the brothers was slowly beginning to kill Sideswipe.

It had never occurred to him that Sideswipe would suffer that badly from it, but the rumours told him that Sideswipe had an extremely close bond with Sunstreaker. He knew that Sideswipe was taking this very hard and was doing his best to not go insane whenever the chance presented itself, but the figure knew that it was impossible to avoid.

But the way things were going between Sideswipe and Hot Rod, the figure had a feeling that everything was going to be alright. He wasn't sure how long this was going to last for, but he guessed it would be a long time before anything happened.

Slowly, the figure turned to walk away, a warm smile planted on his lips. _I have a feeling,_ he thought, _that Hot Rod may play an important role in Sideswipe's life. But I would never know until the opportunity comes down to it._ He couldn't help but let his smile grow even further.

* * *

Spiritimus Prime: So who was the bot that was watching Hot Rod and Sideswipe spar? I'm giving you one guess to tell me who it is. Guess it right, and you'll get another chapter to this story. Also, I put up a poll to ask you who I should do next when this story is finished. Give me your answer and I swear I'll have it up by the time I'm finished. Peace out people!


	7. Depressed

Spiritimus Prime: Sorry I was gone for so long, but I had a lot to do and I'm trying to get back into the routine of studying, especially trying to get used to taking a new bus I've never even taken before. Anyway, this is a short little oneshot that is not part of the Meme challenge. It was a little something inspired by a new song that I've taken a great liking to ever since I first heard of it. It reminded me of Sideswipe's emotional stress that he was struggling with since the disappearance of Sunny. I did my best on writing it out, but I don't think this turn out quite as good as I expected.

This oneshot was inspired by the song called _Secrets and Regrets_ by Pillar. By listening to it numerous times, I think I was able to create an image of what I wanted. I'm not sure, but it hardly matters to me much. Might I suggest that you listen to this song as you read along? It will make things better, trust me.

I've decided that, every now and then, I might put up oneshots that are not part of the challenge. Most of them might be inspired by songs or they might be inspired by other things that goes on in the Transformers franchise.

I hope you enjoy this little oneshot!

* * *

**Depressed**

Hot Rod sighed quietly as he watched his mentor skate across the Training Room on his wheeled feet, his swift frame moving in fluid-like motion that seemed to set everything inside the young Autobot aflame without warning. He watched with curiosity and wonder as Sideswipe gracefully tore down the drones and then blowing them up in one foul swoop of his sharp silver blades. The entire room lit up with a golden glow from the explosion of smoke and flames, illuminating Sideswipe's entire form.

He shook his head, clearing himself of the thoughts that had just passed over him.

The silver warrior, having finished his round of drones, turned back to face his student. Much to his surprise, he saw that he was shaking his head. Confused, he rolled up to him until he was standing in front of him; his blue optics staring into Hot Rod's azure ones. Hot Rod eventually came to his senses when he realised that his teacher was looking at him.

"Sorry," he apologised to Sideswipe, "I was busy thinking about something."

Sideswipe knitted his brows into a frown. "Really?" he asked. "It's not like you to be distracted unless you have something on your mind, Hot Rod. If you a distracted, then we cannot train. The enemy would not hesitate to kill you if you have a lot on your mind. A good mind is a clean mind."

Hot Rod realised there was a slight strain in Sideswipe's voice. "Are you ok, Sideswipe?" he asked.

Sideswipe's frown deepened. "Do not change the subject," he rumbled, his tone annoyed. "Do you understand what I just said?"

The red and yellow mech nodded and lowered his head, ashamed.

Sideswipe shook his head in disapproval and turned back to look at the drones he had just taken out. Ever since he had realised that Hot Rod had saved his life during one of his mental breakdowns his thoughts had been trailing off into worlds unknown. Sometimes he forgot about what happened during those times, other times he barely remembered what had occurred at all. He would rather forget his violent reactions than let it get the better of him. He missed his brother so much that it hurt to even talk about it. He still didn't understand how Optimus, Ratchet, Ironhide, and Hot Rod had managed to find out about his mental condition.

"Sideswipe?"

Sighing, he turned back to look at Hot Rod. He was shocked to see the look of concern on his face, but he turned his back on him. He really needed some downtime at his favourite thinking spot instead of being faced with the possibilities that Hot Rod would discover what was on his mind. But, since Hot Rod knew why he had those traumatic episodes, then he knew there was no point in hiding anything from him.

"Sideswipe," Hot Rod spoke up again. "Are you ok?"

Sideswipe shook his head, turning his head over his shoulder to look at his student. "I would rather not talk about it," he said softly. "It would be best that I grieve alone. It is my burden to bear and I do not wish for you to suffer alongside me."

"But..." Hot Rod began. "I just want to help you! You're my friend, Sideswipe."

Sideswipe growled. He hated it when Hot Rod became stubborn and refused to give up when he set his mind to it. "You don't give up do you?" he hissed, his annoyance growing. "I understand your concern, Hot Rod, but it is something that I must do alone." He glanced back at the Training Room. "This training session is over for the day. I'll let you know when the next one is."

When Hot Rod realised that it was the end of the discussion, he turned and left the room, leaving Sideswipe alone with his thoughts and feelings.

As soon as he had gone, Sideswipe glanced down at his blades that he kept within his wrists. They glinted in the darkness alongside the Cybertronian symbols that decorated their frames. Each symbol had a meaning to them, but he hardly paid much attention to them – until now that was.

He traced the largest symbol on the right blade with a finger, a train of thoughts following the touch. His azure blue optics seemed to roll into the back of his head as he thought of his days back on Cybertron when he and his brother had been charged with looking after one of the Autobot colonies. It was that day when he had been separated from Sunstreaker the moment Demolisher attacked. Since then, Sideswipe still craved for revenge, even though Demolisher had already been destroyed by the hands of Optimus Prime.

The silver mech's finger rolled up the blade until it touched the one symbol that made him feel confident that his brother would return to him someday...

_Brothers forever_.

Not only did he still believe that Sunstreaker was still alive, but he could still, somehow, sense him. He knew that it was the brotherly link that they shared, but it was all he could cling onto until that day finally arrived.

Lowering his arms against his sides and taking a deep breath, Sideswipe glanced up at the ceiling and carefully skated out the room. He wanted to head outside to his secret hideout to have some downtime, but he decided against it and allowed his body to carry him in any direction it decided. He didn't care where he went as long as it was away from everybody else.

His thoughts carried him to voids unknown as he thought of the horrifying days that had occur-red back on Cybertron. If only he had not ordered his brother to go to the opposite side of the city. If only he had called him back to aid him in his defence against Demolisher, that way they would've both killed him and avenged the death of their charges. If only they had both known about the attack, and then none of this whole separation thing hadn't happened. Sunstreaker still would've been standing right by Sideswipe's side today...

"Where are you, brother?" he whispered to himself.

Even as he rolled through the corridors, he could feel his shoulders shake and shiver from the sudden emotional weight of the burden he carried. He shook his head roughly to clear away the thoughts, but they kept on coming as he remembered his brother's worried face about being separated from him when he had ordered him to go with a small team of Autobots to check on some of the residents.

"_I've got a bad feeling about this, brother,"_ _Sunstreaker had said, frowning._ _"Are you sure you want me to go at this time, especially when there have been reports about Decepticons looming around this area?"_

"_I don't like it any more than you do, Sunny," Sideswipe answered as he shook his head before placing a reassuring hand on Sunstreaker's left shoulder, giving it a gentle squeeze. "But the civilians have been getting nervous and we cannot afford to ignore their distress. Please, brother, do it not for me, but for them."_

"_Alright, Sides, I'll do it," Sunstreaker smirked, "but not because you ordered me to." He winked an optic at Sideswipe and gathered up the forces that were going with him and he left, leaving Sideswipe in charge of the colony until Sunstreaker returned._

"Why did this have to happen?!" Sideswipe asked aloud as he stopped abruptly, his hands shaking tremendously. He lowered his head and growled as he lifted a bladed arm and slashed across the wall next to him. His blue optics glowed furiously as he bellowed his rage and distress. "Primus Almighty, why?!"

"Sideswipe?"

He whirled towards the voice, expecting to see Hot Rod standing there and asking if he was ok. But, to his surprise, it was none other than his faithful companion Jolt. "Jolt..." he whispered, hardly daring to breathe for fear that he would disturb the sudden silence that erupted between them.

"What are you doing out here?" Jolt questioned as he approached the silver mech, a look of sympathy in his optics.

When he was close enough until he was gently touching Sideswipe's side, the silver mech immediately pulled away from the attempt to provide some comfort. He did not want any pity or compassion from his long-time friend nor did he want any sympathy and comfort like a child would want.

"I don't want your pity!" Sideswipe snarled angrily. "I just want to be left alone!"

Jolt shook his head. "I can't do that, Sides," he said softly. However, he was wise enough to back away and give Sideswipe his space when he requested it. Even though it did not suite him to leave his side, he knew that it was best to do what he said until he had cooled down. "Just tell me what is bothering you so that I may be able to help."

"Did Hot Rod tell you?" Sideswipe growled.

The blue and silver mech frowned. "No," he answered. "I was just on my way to enjoy the scenery when you happened to cross my path. I'm sorry, but I can't ignore a friend's cry of distress, especially when he is suffering from the strain of the faraway link."

"Just go away and leave me alone, Jolt... I... I just don't want to be seen like this."

"I understand, Sides, but if there is anything you need, just let me know."

Jolt then walked around Sideswipe and continued to walk on, leaving Sideswipe alone. The silver mech couldn't believe that he had just shoved Jolt away in an unkindly manner. It was a manner that he hated doing towards everyone, especially to his closest friend ever since his arrival on Earth. It did not make things better if he apologised – it hardly ever mattered any more...

"If only you could help me, Jolt," he whispered to himself. "But this is something I must do alone, even if Hot Rod continued to offer his own little support to me. I appreciate everyone's effort, I really do, but I cannot accept anything or anyone..."

He chewed his bottom lip in a frustrated manner and he transformed to his vehicle mode before speeding off down the hallway, ignoring the cries of distress from the humans who happened to be walking in the middle of his path as he drove along. He even drove between the legs of a very surprised Optimus Prime, who shouted an order for him to slow down, but again, those words were ignored to the best of his abilities.

All Sideswipe wanted was to be left alone, even if it meant not paying any attention to his leader. He wanted to get outside the base, away from the humans, away from Jolt, away from Hot Rod, and away from his other comrades. He wanted to be back at his secret hiding spot...

More importantly... he wanted his brother back with him.


	8. Guilty

**Guilty**

"**You let Barricade escape?!**"

Sideswipe barely even flinched as he stared icily at Ironhide, who stared nose to nose with him. His ice blue optics seemed to pierce through his own gaze and into the very core of his Spark. All he could hear was the ringing of pain in his audio receptors as Ironhide yelled in his face. The pain was bearable, Sideswipe could tolerate it, but the tone, he knew that it was difficult to bear with.

Optimus Prime stood in the background with Prowl and Ratchet. It would seem like they were not going to help Sideswipe while he was getting a scolding from the black mech, but he didn't care. He didn't need help anyway. He could tolerate this for as long as he possibly could and he knew that the anger in Ironhide's tone would never fix up the mistake that he had made.

"Go easy on him, Ironhide," Ratchet said quietly, "he did what he had to do."

Ironhide whirled toward Ratchet, optics flashing with fury. "Stay out of this, Ratchet!" he snapped.

The green mech was about to raise a fist and slap Ironhide when Optimus stopped him with a hand on his shoulder. "Do as he says, Ratchet," he said gently. "This is none of our concern. Not until Ironhide has done what he needs to do."

"But Optimus," Ratchet protested. "I need to give Sideswipe his repairs!"

Optimus just shook his head and the green mech backed away regrettably, his optics dull with sadness. Sideswipe didn't really see what the problem was. The broken sword on his right wrist was nothing to worry about to him, but it would seem like it meant something to the older mech.

Ironhide turned back to the silver mech, his gaze fierce and furious. "You didn't answer my question, Sideswipe," he said, his tone soft, but dangerously low. "Why did you let Barricade escape with the NEST defence deactivation codes? You could've gone after him."

"I told you before," Sideswipe answered, "Barricade trapped my right arm with ice and he escaped with Frenzy." He lowered his head, guilt flashing in his optics. "They took the codes with them and it took me nearly several minutes to free myself. I was lucky enough to even break off my blade instead of my arm."

The big mech stood back and then glanced over at Optimus. The Autobot commander looked back and they seemed to be exchanging a silent conversation through their internal com-links, something that Sideswipe still had to learn how to use. Ironhide turned back to Sideswipe for a moment and then turned his back on him and walked out of the Command Room, leaving the four mechs alone.

Sideswipe watched him go before Ironhide turned the corner; he lowered his head until it touched his neck. He had never felt so guilty in his entire life. He didn't mean for Barricade to escape, but if he hadn't, the evil rouge would've killed him anyway. It was rare to feel like this, but when he felt half as bad as he looked, then he could probably guess that there something wrong with his head.

"Do not worry about Ironhide, young one."

Sideswipe lifted his head until he was looking directly at his commander.

"Sir?" he questioned.

Optimus unfolded his arms from across his chest and made a gesture to Prowl. The white Autobot seemed hesitant and wanted to say more, but seemed to think better of it and he too left the room, leaving Optimus and Ratchet alone with the young mech.

Optimus blinked his azure optics in sympathy and tilted his head to one side, regarding Sideswipe in a kind manner. "I know you never meant for this to happen, Sideswipe," he said reassuringly. "Whatever happened between you and Barricade, I can only guess. However, your attempt to go out on your own when I ordered you to wait for backup has cost us dearly and now it has become even more important than ever to find Barricade and bring him to justice."

Sideswipe rolled towards Optimus until he was inches away from him. "But Optimus," he protested, "I had no choice. Barricade was going to steal those codes before you would even arrive. I couldn't just stand there and wait when it would be too late if you had arrived."

"**And Barricade escaped anyway!**" Optimus bellowed, shoving his face into Sideswipe's. "Now that he has the codes, the Decepticons are going to try and attempt to infiltrate our base when we have our backs turned!"

Normally Sideswipe wouldn't flinch when he was being yelled at by his commander, but this time was different. He drew back immediately at a respectful distance, waiting for Optimus to calm down. But the fury in Optimus' optics did not die down as quickly as he had expected until Ratchet gently took his arm and spoke to him through the internal com-link. Once again, Sideswipe was left alone to ponder on his guilt.

When they had finished and the fire had been burned away, Optimus pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed to calm himself down. When Sideswipe was sure that it was safe to approach again, he came back to his regular spot.

"Optimus," he said softly, getting his leader's attention, "I know I can't make up for the mistake that I committed today, but I thought I was doing the right thing and that I could prevent an incident from happening. But all I seemed to do was make it happen anyway. Even if you had arrived to give me aid, Barricade would've escaped anyway."

"Indeed," Optimus rumbled. "You acted almost as bad as Hot Rod with his... impulsiveness. I hope that you will do better next time and maybe the guilt that you are feeling right now will knock some sense into you, as the earthlings say."

He motioned his head towards Ratchet.

"Now go with Ratchet and get your arm repaired. I know I am not a medical bot, but I know a serious injury when I see one. Go now and I will see you at the meeting. We will need to discuss about what we need to do in order to capture Barricade and get those codes back."

Sideswipe nodded. "Yes, Sir," he replied and he followed Ratchet out the room, leaving the Autobot commander in the room alone.

* * *

**Author's Note:** Finally, an update after being gone for so long. What a nuisence! Hopefully the next update will be just as fun. XD This little oneshot was thought of after watching the Cyber Missions Episode #6. It got me riled up and excited about this little idea with it, so I decided to get down and serious. Anyway, I have to apologise for being gone for so long, but my laptop was busted and had been suffering from a nasty virus and I had to get it fixed and back to the way it was after losing everything. Oh well, I'm back now and that's all that matters. Right? Till the next update, stay tuned!


	9. Caring

**Caring**

Hot Rod lay motionless on the ground; his optics stared up at the ceiling into nothingness. His body was battered, but he was not broken. He was tired and exhausted from this morning's training session with Sideswipe. His mentor had obliged that they do it early while the night was just fading away. Now, he was tired and unable to move a single muscle cable. He was so exhausted that he could barely even stand. His optics were clouded over with a blurriness that refused to leave him alone and his whole body felt numb.

Sideswipe stood over him, looking down upon him with his icy stare that always sent chills down his back every time he looked into them. He could see no gentleness in them and no compassion whatsoever. They had been going at this training session for five whole breems without resting and Hot Rod felt like he couldn't go on anymore. Why did Sideswipe have to push him so hard, especially at this time of day?

He could only hope that Sideswipe would have the goodness in his Spark to let him rest, but it seemed like their training had only just begun.

"Come on," Sideswipe ordered, giving him a light nudge with his foot, "up on your feet soldier! Do you think the enemy would let you rest for even half a nano-klick? Come on or else it's going to be twice as hard."

Hot Rod let out a groan of pain and exhaustion. Didn't Sideswipe think that he had had enough? He tried to push himself up off the ground, but he fell back down again. His legs just wouldn't move for him and the blur in his optics was getting worse.

"I can't," he managed to gasp.

Sideswipe frowned as he regarded Hot Rod with suspicious looking optics. He got down on one knee and lightly tapped him on the shoulder, but the jab was still a little rough to feel. Somehow, the silver mech seemed to give him a compassionate look, but Hot Rod couldn't tell with all that blurriness that was making him go blind. He knew that it was from the exhausting training that they had gone through and it was only a matter of time before he would eventually shutdown into automatic recharge to recover some of his strength.

"Are you sure you can't?" Sideswipe asked.

Hot Rod made another attempt to get up, but he once again failed. He tried to shake his head, but the ground prevented his neck from moving side to side. He really wished that he had mobility to move as graceful as his mentor, but Sideswipe was built more differently than he was and he lasted a whole lot longer on the battlefield due to a special design that made him unique.

"Alright then," Sideswipe finally admitted. "We'll stop there for today. You're too exhausted to continue and I can't have my favourite student half offline." A smile seemed to form on his lips. "Until you recover, your training will stop."

"Th–thank you, Sideswipe," Hot Rod managed.

"Don't mention it."

As the blur faded from Hot Rod's vision, Sideswipe stood up and turned on his com-link, calling for Ratchet to come to the training room as soon as he could. Hot Rod heard Ratchet groan and a chuckle of amusement from his mentor. He had to admit it, Sideswipe did know how to laugh, it was nice to hear it, but it was very rare.

The silver mech got down on one knee and placed a hand on Hot Rod's shoulder, giving it a light squeeze. "You could've told me that your systems were beginning to overheat," he said firmly, but not unkindly. "If you did, I would've stopped at once and let you rest."

"But..." Hot Rod stuttered. "You were so focused on the training I didn't want to interrupt you."

"True," Sideswipe replied, nodding, "but my students wouldn't be good warriors if I pushed them too hard. I might be battle-hardened, Hot Rod, but I am not cruel. Optimus knows that my training is strict, but he also knows that I would never harm my students unless I _think_ they deserve it. The only time I ever harm them is when they get too full of themselves. You included. You should know that by now."

"Quite the speech there, Sideswipe," a voice laughed. "I'm almost touched."

Both Hot Rod and Sideswipe looked up and saw Ratchet standing in the middle of the doorway with his arms folded across his chest and a sparkle of amusement gleamed in his bright blue optics.

Sideswipe stood up, looking defensive. "What do you mean?" he growled.

Ratchet rolled his optics as he kneeled down beside Hot Rod and started scanning him, ignoring Sideswipe's protest. He didn't speak for a few minutes until he finished his scan. He looked back up at Sideswipe and frowned, Hot Rod sensed that Sideswipe was going to get a lecture from the green mech. Ratchet looked like he was going to say something, but thought better of it as Sideswipe opened and closed his mouth, saying nothing.

"You're going to be fine, Hot Rod," Ratchet told the young mech. "You just need to rest. Your systems will be back to normal temperatures tonight. No more training unless I say so!" He shot a glare at Sideswipe, who just reluctantly agreed with him.

He turned back to Hot Rod. "Can you stand?" he asked.

Hot Rod gathered his legs underneath his body, pushing himself up off the ground. He just barely had enough energy to stand up right and that was about it, he didn't even have the strength to even lift up his feet to start walking. "Just barely," he managed to croak.

Sideswipe rolled up alongside, his bright optics flashing with concern. "I'm responsible for Hot Rod," he said sternly. "I'll take him back to his quarters."

"I can handle myself!" Hot Rod growled, glaring at Sideswipe.

Whack!

Now that had to hurt! Poor Hot Rod rubbed his head where Ratchet had just smacked him upside. Hot Rod tried to fight back, but Sideswipe stopped him completely. Hot Rod had no choice but to obey, whether he liked it or not.

"You will do as you are told!" Ratchet snapped.

Sideswipe laughed and he gave the request again to the CMO.

Ratchet looked like he wanted to protest, but then seemed to reconsider it. "Alright, go before I change my mind," he huffed, waving a hand as if they were like little insects that pestered him more than once. "And," he pointed a finger at Hot Rod, jabbing it into his chest, "if I see you doing training when you should be resting, consider yourself a burnt out toaster!"

Without another word, Ratchet turned and left.

Hot Rod leaned against the wall to steady himself, but his hand was stopped as Sideswipe grabbed it and wrapped his arm around his neck. Hot Rod had no choice but to lean on his mentor. He didn't want to because it felt so awkward, being so physically close to him. He felt his cheeks turn as red as his armour and he was glad that Sideswipe didn't notice because he was so busy focusing on getting out of the room.

_I just hope that no one else notices this..._ Hot Rod thought bitterly.

Once Sideswipe had taken him back to his quarters and left him on his berth alone, Hot Rod once again thought about the closeness that had just occurred between him and his mentor. He knew that Sideswipe was a little rough around the edges, but, deep down, he had a soft spot that very rarely showed. He only seemed to show it when those he cared about the most were harmed or were in danger.

Of course... there was something in his Spark that longed for that closeness again. It felt weird and uncomfortable. Hot Rod rolled his optics and lay down on his berth, his front facing the wall and his back to the door of his quarters. He couldn't help but let this thoughts seize his processor like a pair of claws grappling his entire body.

Hot Rod shivered.

"Don't be stupid, Hot Rod," the young mech hissed to himself as he tried to recharge. "He's your mentor and mentors are meant to look out for their students. Obviously that's how it is meant to be. He's waiting for his brother and I'm keeping my nose out of his business. It isn't mine!"

Regardless, Hot Rod couldn't help but let the feelings sink in again, but he pushed them aside as he thought of empty thoughts to help him recharge. He liked Sideswipe because, once you got to know him, he was someone you could always count on. Even Optimus trusted Sideswipe's judgement.

_That's good enough for me,_ he thought as he turned his optics offline and settled into recharge.

* * *

**Author's Note:** Yes, you were reading from Hot Rod's POV this time. While this is supposed to be focused on Sideswipe and told from his POV, I thought I should add a different one just to make sure that this makes sense. It's never easy getting into a different character's head, but I do my best to make it as good as I possibly can. What's this? Hot Rod's got the feelings for Sideswipe? Oh dear! We're going to be in one hell of a ride people! Ok, next chapter goes back to Sideswipe's POV, so don't get confused if this happens. Just thought I should warn you! Till next update!


	10. Playing with Kids

**Playing with Kids**

"You want me to do what?"

Optimus Prime sighed as the silver mech glared ice cold daggers at him and bellowed his head off, but he ignored the shout and stood defiantly over him like a tall statue, using his towering figure to overpower the proud warrior. Sideswipe immediately stood down and his shoulders sagged slightly and his head bowed against his neck.

"Let me repeat myself, Sideswipe," said the commander, his optics unblinking. "You are to watch over a pair of younglings that made it to Earth. They are extremely young and require watching. The other Autobots have been called into a Decepticon sighting in Australia and I must go along to see to it that all goes well."

"But you need me," Sideswipe protested. "It's my job to make sure that those Decepticons don't escape!"

"Yes," agreed Optimus. "But it is time you took a break from fighting and training. These younglings are young and need someone to watch them for a while until we get back."

"But I'm a warrior, not a babysitter!" Sideswipe growled, his hands clenching into fists.

Sideswipe thought this was the most ridiculous thing he had ever been assigned. Being a warrior was one thing, but babysitting two younglings who still had a lot to learn was just downright impossible to him. For all he knew, they could cause trouble when he wasn't looking and he did not know how to keep an eye on younglings that hardly knew much about fighting.

"You will do as you are told, Sideswipe," Optimus said firmly. "I will not hear another argument from you again." He then jabbed a finger into the warrior's chest. "Argue one more time and I will be forced to make you care for these younglings for the rest of your life. Do I make myself clear?"

Sideswipe opened up his mouth to protest, but then closed it again out of respect for his commander. "Yes, sir," he said quietly underneath his breath.

"Very well," Optimus said, satisfied for the time being. "We will be back in twelve Earth hours. See to it that the younglings are well cared for like you care for your own brother."

Sideswipe stared darkly at Optimus. "Don't use my brother as an example!" he snapped.

But Optimus acted like he hadn't heard his outburst and turned to walk away.

Once he believed that the commander was out of earshot, Sideswipe muttered underneath his breath about how worthless it was to be caring for sparklings that he hardly cared about at all. He had other things to worry about other than younglings and he found it absolutely ridiculous and against his beliefs as a warrior. How could he entertain two younglings who knew nothing of the war that he had been fighting since the day he had been brought online?

Angered by this, Sideswipe turned and slashed a scratch into the wall beside him, leaving behind a deep gash behind in his wake. He turned and skated off towards the Rec. Room, determined to prove to Optimus that he could do his job just as good as any other soldier he knew and despised.

Secretly, Sideswipe was glad that none of his comrades were here to see him babysit. It felt like an embarrassing task to him, and it brought him nothing but shame to his reputation. Why should he care about younglings when all he had on his processor was destroying Decepticons? It was what he was bred for, and his bloodlust twisted effortlessly through his body, churning and twisting until it was nothing but an unsettling feeling that was wrapped tightly around his need to find his brother.

"Sides!"

Sideswipe snapped out of his thoughts and he came to a realisation that he was now in the Rec. Room and the twin younglings, Fastlane and Cloudraker, blinked innocently up at him with those little blue optics. He was shocked that they called him by the very name that Sunstreaker often called him by. Did Optimus tell them his nickname or did they just guess it? Whatever it was, he did not find it as amusing as they did.

"Don't call me that," he said in an annoyed tone.

But the twins acted like they didn't hear his words. "What are we going to d today, Sides?" Cloudraker asked.

"I said don't call me that!" Sideswipe snapped. No one had the right to call him by that name except for Sunstreaker. The only ones he accepted were Hot Rod and Jolt. They only called him that when they were bored or just wanted to get a reaction out of him, and it often worked when they wanted to get underneath his armour.

The twins flinched and eased backwards, frightened by the senior warrior's tone.

As the tension left his body, Sideswipe soon realised his mistake and bowed his head to them. They were young and did not understand the full concept of his pain and depression nor did they understand what it was like to lose a sibling. He was surprised to learn that these two were possibly the only younglings to have ever arrived on Earth. He was even more shocked when he came to understand that, despite the loss of their creators, they had seen war enough times in their life to know when not to get involved.

They were as traumatized as he was about his missing brother.

"Can we... play a game, Sides?" Fastlane asked.

Sideswipe decided to accept the nickname... this time. "What kind of game do you have in mind?" he asked, tilting his head to one side out of curiosity.

"Well," said Cloudraker, "the humans call it Hide-and-Seek. We hide and you come and find us. Then, whoever is found first will get to be it."

Sideswipe mentally cursed himself for not doing proper research on the humans' lifestyle. He had been training so much and keeping his focus on destroying Decepticons that he had not even come close to understand the full concept of the humans. Back then, he thought it had been a complete waste of his time and thought it was useless.

Sighing, he said, "Alright, what do you want me to count up to?"

"Count up to twenty," said Fastlane excitedly. "Come find us when you're done, ok?"

Knowing that he didn't have any other choice, Sideswipe nodded curtly and he turned his back on them and closed his optics. He quickly did a bit of searching on the World Wide Web while he counted and learned that the human children often played games such as this one to grow and learn. He was shocked that Fastlane and Cloudraker knew so much already in such a short amount of time. From what he had gathered on the twins' profiles, they were as curious about the humans as Bumblebee was. There was something about them that sparked an interest and a tad bit of respect for them in him.

"...nineteen, twenty," he finished and opened his optics. "Ready or not, here I come."

Knowing that this may take a while, Sideswipe decided to begin his search in the restricted zones. If the twins were as mischievous as their profiles said they were, then there was a chance that they could be where they were not supposed to. He mentally chuckled at the thought when he realised just how much these two reminded him of himself and his brother when they were younglings, how they always got up to things under their caretakers' care, always causing trouble. But the war had forced them to grow up fast in an attempt to fulfil their programmed lives: the life of warriors that were bred for the sole purpose of killing.

Sideswipe slowly skated into the Hanger Bay where Optimus Prime usually spoke with the authorities or General Morshower whenever there were things to discuss about after battles on other continents. Much to his surprise, his scanners or sensors did not detect the slightest heat signature of the either one of the twins.

Disappointed, but still sceptical, Sideswipe felt his blades humming beneath his wrists, almost as though they were determined to slice something up. He pushed aside those thoughts and continued his scanning of the area.

Still, he came up with nothing.

Lifting an optic ridge, Sideswipe decided to check the Medical Bay, but not before he decided to ask a passing by human the whereabouts of the twin younglings. The first human he met up with was Kaminari Ishihara. He was extremely surprised to hear from her that she had chosen to stay behind this time because of being busy experimenting on things that would be useful against the Decepticons. He had heard of the human's bravery when she had saved Optimus's life from Barricade back in Italy. Mentally, he respected the human's determination to save the one mech that Sideswipe deeply respected.

"If you're asking me where those two have gotten to," said the young woman in a gruff tone, "I don't know. The last time I saw them, they were in the Training Room messing around with stuff they shouldn't be touching. I would've scolded them, but I had more important things to do and I thought all the Autobots had gone off to Australia to flush out those Decepticons."

_Why would they go and hide in the Training Room?_ Sideswipe thought bitterly. _They should know better than to go in restricted places._

He just nodded his thanks and went on his way, deliberately going slowly so that he did not startle the little mechs.

Much to his chagrin when he arrived, the twins were nowhere to be seen. He huffed furiously and he felt his hands clench in frustration. This game was becoming completely pointless to him. What point was there in this game if you could not find your targets? This was not really teaching him a lesson he wanted to remember.

"Gotcha!"

In just a matter of seconds those words left the vocal processor, Sideswipe immediately found himself tackled to the ground by a pair of tiny mechs who were only half of his size. Believing himself to be under attack, he struggled furiously against the grip of Cloudraker and Fastlane, but much to his surprise, they did not let up until he had stopped his struggling. As soon as he had calmed down, Sideswipe shot an icy stare in their direction, but he was forced to put aside his anger when he saw how innocent they appeared to be, looking at him with playful optics that reminded him of himself and Sunstreaker back in the day before they chose to become the warriors they were destined to be.

Pretending to admit defeat, Sideswipe held up his three-fingered hands in mock surrender. "Alright, I give," he chuckled, trying to hide his annoyance.

"No way," Fastlane giggled. "The legendary Sideswipe would've never surrendered to the likes of us."

"Yeah," agreed Cloudraker. "No way, not ever."

Sideswipe blinked his optics. How had the younglings heard of him being... legendary? He didn't consider himself a legend; he just did what he had to in order to win the war and bent the rules of everything Optimus stood for, just to fulfil his own duty.

"You must be mistaken," Sideswipe said dully. "I am not a legend."

"Sure you are," said Cloudraker. "We heard from our old caretakers that you practically live for the thrill of battle and that you do whatever it takes to win. You're also looking for your brother called Sunstreaker. Am I right?"

The silver warrior shook his head, his optics blinking in surprise. How did they know so much about him? He frowned and shoved the younglings off his chest and sat cross-legged in front of them, but their optics never left his facial expressions. He quickly put on his usual straight face, making it impossible for them to read him like an open book.

"Yes," he admitted sullenly. "I am looking for my brother. But you must understand that –"

He forced to stop when he felt a twinge of pain shoot through his chest. Quickly, his hand made a grab for his silver chest and he held on tightly. His face squinted into agony as he struggled to fight off the pain. From his blurry vision, he could make out the panicked faces of Cloudraker and Fastlane. Within minutes of the attack, it suddenly passed just as quickly as it had come. When it did, Sideswipe lowered his hand and took a deep breath, trying to ease the discomfort that lingered in the middle of his spark.

'W-what happened?" Fastlane asked, still shocked over what he had saw.

_Ah,_ thought Sideswipe, _so they had not seen what happens to those who have been separated from a twin. _"That," he said softly, "was a convulsion. It only happens to those who have been separated from their twin sibling for so long. You are lucky you are not getting them like I am. If you were in my position, you would feel a different kind of pain like no other."

"Is it... dangerous?" Cloudraker asked.

"Yes," Sideswipe said, nodding curtly. "If I continue to have these attacks before my brother gets here, then it will only be a matter of time before I will succumb into a coma. I would then be stuck in the coma until my brother reaches out to me from within my spark."

"I-it sounds frightening," Fastlane gasped. "W-w-will you be ok?"

"I will be fine," Sideswipe answered, his tone surprisingly soft. "You need not worry about me."

"But what if the attacks continue and get worse over time?" Cloudraker asked. "Won't it offline you?"

The silver warrior felt a smile tug at the corner of his lips for the first time since his arrival on Earth. He shook his head, saying, "No, it won't. They will grow worse, yes, if they continue, but it will not offline me. I am far too important on Optimus Prime's team to give up to some measly pain and discomfort."

The younglings looked ready to burst into tears. And, once again to his surprise, the twins lunged forward and wrapped their arms around his chest, holding onto him tightly as if their lives depended on him. Sideswipe sighed and gently wrapped his arms around their tiny frames, caressing their backs in a similar fashion his old caretakers had done to him and Sunstreaker long ago.

"We don't want you to go offline, Sides," wailed Cloudraker.

"Please don't go!" cried Fastlane.

_They obviously did not understand what death is like,_ Sideswipe thought. He had never seen the younglings so distraught before. They continued to cry until he had finally calmed them down with words of reassurance that he was not going to die and that things would be alright in due time. However, deep down, Sideswipe was attempting to reassure himself. The convulsions frightened him, but he was determined to not let himself be lost into a coma. He would have to fight them off for as long as possible until Sunstreaker arrived to heal his broken spark.

"Better?" Sideswipe asked the younglings.

The two brothers nodded and they released their hold on him, but Sideswipe noticed the dried up tear streaks left behind on their cheeks.

"Sideswipe."

The silver mech jumped when he heard the familiar baritone of Optimus Prime. He quickly stood up and looked down at the younglings, mentally asking them through his optics that they keep this between them. The only ones who knew about his condition were Hot Rod and Jolt. Optimus and Prowl were aware of his mindful depression, but not of his convulsions. The brothers nodded and made a zipper motion over their lips. Sideswipe sent them an appreciating smile and quickly returned to his normal posture.

He was shocked to learn that so much time had passed during his spending time with the younglings.

He quickly shook off the shock as Optimus walked into the room, his body covered in dings and dents and smudges and several blast holes. The Autobot commander came to an abrupt halt in front of Sideswipe and glanced down at the younglings before his stern gaze rested on the warrior.

"Everything went well?" he asked.

Sideswipe nodded. "Yes, sir. The younglings were well behaved and did not cause any trouble."

A small smile tugged at the corner of Optimus's lips. He then glanced down at the younglings and then motioned to them to follow him, indicating to them that it was recharge time. They stood up and bid Sideswipe goodnight. Sideswipe didn't reply, instead, he kept his usual posture and watched as Cloudraker and Fastlane headed for their quarters.

Before Optimus headed off after them to tuck them in, he turned to face Sideswipe again. "And you thought you couldn't do it," he teased.

If Sideswipe was amused, he didn't show it. Instead, he folded his arms across his chest and said, "I had a duty to perform. However, my function lies on the battlefield. The next time that you ask me to babysit, you've got another thing coming."

He then brushed past Optimus and left the room. The Autobot commander emitted a deep sigh, knowing that the strong presence of Sunstreaker would ease the agony in Sideswipe's spark. He knew that the silver warrior was a ticking time bomb. If Sunstreaker did not hurry back soon, then Sideswipe was bound to fall into a depressing coma and the Autobots' forces would drop tremendously.

Turning, he followed after Fastlane and Cloudraker to get them into recharge.


	11. Naive

I apologise if I've been gone for so long, but lately my muse is being extremely stubborn again and I've been going through some issues, and this time it has nothing to do with my struggling with depression. If you guessed money, then you're spot on correct. Anyway, I've been thinking about the future of this story. No, I am not giving up on it, more like I'm thinking of expanding it once DOTM comes out and we learn the fate of Sideswipe. If he survives, then I guess we'll leave to what my muse wants to do with it. Might think about connecting this story with ROTF and DOTM. So... in other words, to make sure that it does... I might have to do the unthinkable like what I've done in this chapter. Don't believe me, then read the comic series Rising Storm, one of the three prequels to DOTM.

Warning: contains spoilers from Rising Storm #4!

* * *

It was like any typical day for Sideswipe. The silver warrior found it harder to concentrate as the days passed. The feeling that nagged at the back of his CPU was like a feeling that refused to go away. The more he thought about what had happened a week ago. His temper had gotten worse and his patience was running as thin as the threadlike string in which the others crossed if they bothered him. Rage pulsed through him as quickly as his spark pulsed its electric current around his body.

Ever since that horrible day – the day that the unthinkable had happened – Sideswipe had chosen to hold off Hot Rod's training and concentrate on other things that left the young red and yellow mech puzzled about his teacher's actions. Though Sideswipe tried to hide it, everyone could see that he was hurting as badly as he missed his brother.

But with each passing day, Hot Rod could see that the sparkshocks were getting worse and were increasing within every hour. And during one of his lonely training sessions, Sideswipe had collapsed and was knocked into an unconscious state, forcing Hot Rod to bring Ratchet in and take his teacher to the Med Bay. Sideswipe was put into a comatose state for the next few days and Ironhide had to take over Hot Rod's training until Sideswipe was given the clean bill of health.

Today was Hot Rod's day off from training, and he had taken it upon himself to visit his mentor in the Med Bay. As he walked in to sit by Sideswipe's side, he was shocked to see Sideswipe sitting up and checking himself all over for any signs of things that may appear to be out of the ordinary.

"Sideswipe, what are you doing?" Ratchet demanded as he came over from his work. "You're supposed to be in stasis lock!"

Hot Rod took a step back and hid himself from view, determined not to be seen.

"Look, Ratch," Sideswipe said icily, "you did your job. I'm well enough to continue my work."

"No, you are not!" Ratchet snapped as he forced Sideswipe to lie down by pushing on his chest. He took out a sedative and prepared to inject the silver mech to put him back into stasis. "You haven't been the same since Jolt died and, as Chief Medical Officer, I am ordering you to rest until I deem you well again. You might think you're fine, but your separation from Sunstreaker has caused your spark to suffer from long distance pain. The combination of Jolt's death and the separation from Sunstreaker is affecting you badly. How long have you been separated from your brother, Sideswipe?"

Sideswipe didn't answer as he was forced to lie down, but he watched Ratchet closely as the green mech prepared to dose him up with the sedative. He glanced away, refusing to look at him.

"Well, however long it was, I cannot say that it's going to end well for you," Ratchet said. "But since I am in a good mood today, I'll let you rest on your own. Do me a favour and try to at least get a decent recharge. If you feel any pain or at least a sign that you're going to get a sparkshock, don't hesitate to let me know. But knowing you, you probably think you can handle it on your own."

As Ratchet turned his back on Sideswipe and moved on to sort out the rest of his tools, Hot Rod took that as his cue to walk in and see how his mentor was doing. But before he drew any closer to him, Ratchet's sensors picked him up and he turned to face the young mech. Hot Rod stopped dead in his tracks and smiled a little nervously at the medical Autobot.

"Hot Rod, what can I do for you?" Ratchet asked. "You are not due for your maintenance exam until tomorrow. Is something wrong?"

Hot Rod shook his head. "No, I'm fine, docbot," he said. "I'm just here to see how Sides is doing."

"Well, as you can see for yourself," Ratchet snorted, "he's wide awake, possibly because I didn't give him a stronger does of the sedative I gave to him a few days back. If you want to talk to him, don't bother, he's not in a very talkative mood."

Hot Rod nodded his appreciation and approached the silent silver mech.

Sideswipe detected Hot Rod's approach, but decided not to acknowledge it. His processor was already trying to compensate over the loss of Jolt. The sudden death of one of his students hit him like a tone of metal that seemed to weigh heavily upon him. He was not one to show his emotions during times like these, but his spark sang out his loss, as though it knew how much it hurt. It obviously hurt more than when he was separated from Sunstreaker during Demolisher's attack on the colony. But how can he move on when all of those who were close to him ended up dead, missing, or hurt?

"Sides," Hot Rod's voice whispered, interrupting his thoughts.

Sideswipe forced himself to turn his head to look at his last remaining student.

To his surprise, he could see tears forming in the red and yellow mech's azure optics.

_Slaggit, how could I have been so stupid and naive!_ he thought angrily.

Because of his mourning over the loss of Jolt and planning nothing but revenge upon the ones who had killed him, Sideswipe had forgotten about the feelings of everyone else around him, including Hot Rod. He sighed softly and lifted a hand, his three-fingered hand brushing gently across Hot Rod's face until they wiped the tears away in a gesture of his wordless apology.

Voicing his sorry was hard enough, but if he could gesture it to those he trusted, then they would understand that words were not enough.

Hot Rod bowed his head as Sideswipe continued to wipe the tears away, though he recognised Sideswipe's wordless movement. If anyone else had been around Sideswipe long enough, they would understand that the silver mech did not find words good enough anymore.

"I'm sorry, teacher," Hot Rod whispered low enough so that only Sideswipe's sensitive audio receptors could hear. "I'm so sorry about Jolt."

"You don't have to be, Hot Rod," Sideswipe answered back, his voice also quiet. "What happened, happened. Jolt's sacrifice will not be in vain. I will make whoever killed him suffer for what they did to him."

"I know you tell me to always make the right choices, Sideswipe," Hot Rod said, "but please don't do this. You told me once before that vengeance will do nothing but end badly for you."

"I know," Sideswipe replied. "But I cannot let go so easily. I was bred by the Allspark for war. It's all I know and nothing can make me change my processor once I set myself onto that path. You are young, Hot Rod, but you do not share the same kind of lust for battle like I do. I am glad you were not badly tempted to fight like I was."

Hot Rod nodded his head slightly, but he said no more.

Both master and student decided to use that silence as a means of acceptance as they basked in it gratefully.


	12. Daring

Wow! Did I just upload a chapter so soon? Wow, the bunnies really have been biting me, haven't they? Anyway, this is just a follow-up to the last chapter. After that, there's going to be an aftermath of the battle that we'll never seen. Seriously, I think Sides is pushing his luck now.

* * *

Ratchet had finally let Sideswipe out of the Med Bay the next day, despite the silver mech telling him that he was physically fine. Though Ratchet did let him go, he had ordered him to not do any training for at least an Earth week. Sideswipe wanted to test the medical Autobot's patience, but decided not to when he saw the look he gave him. He decided to let Ironhide train Hot Rod until he recovered.

As Sideswipe rolled down the halls of the base of NEST, he spotted several burns throughout the entire base, including blast holes where the battle took place when Jolt fought for his life to defend the base to the best of his abilities. Being reminded of his former student's death made Sideswipe sick to his consumer tanks.

Trying to push back the thoughts of disgust and regret for not being there for Jolt when he was most needed, Sideswipe decided to take it into stride for now. The best thing he could do for now was mentally grieve over the loss of one of his best students on the planet.

Suddenly, his com-link pinged and Sideswipe jumped a little as he was pulled from out of his thoughts. He answered, "Sideswipe here."

"_Sideswipe,"_ Optimus Prime's deep baritone voice spoke through, _"Ratchet told me that he gave you the clean bill of health."_

Sideswipe hesitated for a moment. He wanted to answer as honestly as he possibly could about Ratchet deeming him to take a week off to make sure that he was not going to have another seizure from his sparkshock. A feeling at the back of his CPU told him to forget about Ratchet's orders and return to duties because the Decepticons will not rest as long as they existed.

He decided to answer with half of the truth.

"Yes, I am well," he told the Autobot leader.

Sideswipe thought he could sense Optimus frowning on the other side of the com-link. He didn't want to push his luck, but something told him that he was physically and mentally fine. But deep down, his spark thought otherwise. The nagging feeling of experiencing another sparkshock was terrifying to him. But he was a warrior, and he had been trained by the best warriors to resist these kinds of pain. Sparkshock was one of them when Sunstreaker had been forced to leave the planet for some time and Sideswipe had to endure long term sparkshock as part of his mental training. But they only did it for long enough to not kill him.

He was a warrior, and he bled for conflict.

"_Very well, Sideswipe,"_ Optimus finally answered. _"Come see me in my office. I have a mission for you."_

The silver mech mentally breathed a sigh of relief.

"Of course, Optimus, Sir. Sideswipe out."

Shutting off the com-link, he made his way towards his destination. Out of the Med Bay and already he was ordered to go on a mission. He felt a small smile tug at the corner of his lips as he skated through the hallway, narrowly missing humans as they walked by. But on the way, he bumped into Sergeant Epps. He was surprised to see one of his favourite humans wandering about when it was quite clear that he was not on active duty, especially at this time of day.

"Hey, Sides," Epps greeted. "I thought you were still in the Med Bay."

"No, Sergeant Epps," Sideswipe said, bending down to greet the human. "Ratchet said I am fine. Physically I am, but I... am unsure about mentally."

"Jolt meant a lot to us, Sides," Epps said kindly. "He was a good kid. He will be missed."

"Not as much as I will miss him," Sideswipe answered honestly. "He was my best student. He had potential, and he proved that during the battle in Egypt. If it weren't for him, we would not have defeated The Fallen with Optimus Prime's help."

"True," Epps said. "You're not the only one who's traumatized by all this. I think Big Man is upset over the loss too. He might not show it, but you can see it in his eyes every day. As we humans say, the eyes are person's window to their soul."

"You humans have unusual ways to express things," Sideswipe chuckled. "But I will be sure to not tread water when I speak with Optimus."

"Out and already you're going on a mission," Epps smirked. "I think you might be overworking yourself, Sides."

"Maybe," Sideswipe said, bowing his head a little. "But I was trained to endure overworking. It's what I'm meant for. When there is no one else to call and all might appear lost, they call me in to do the dirty work."

"Then I won't keep Big Man waiting any longer," Epps said, saluting. "I'll see you around later?"

"Perhaps," Sideswipe replied, saluting back.

Epps nodded and he in between Sideswipe's legs before disappearing around the corner, leaving the silver mech to ponder on the situation at hand. Was it really a good idea to not do what the doctor ordered, and would pushing his luck really get him anywhere? His chat with Hot Rod the other day made it seem like he could take on anything easily with no trouble at all. But with as the days passed since Jolt's death, it seemed like there was nothing more he could do to prevent those he cared about from getting hurt or dying.

It seemed like no matter what he did or who he took under his wing, they always ended up dead or missing.

He shook his head to clear his thoughts, doing his best to not think of the past and of the future. He had to concentrate on here and now and take things into stride.

He finally reached Optimus's office just as Prowl was leaving. The black and white mech looked at him in the optics and Sideswipe quickly glanced away, not willing to let the unreadable mech's gaze pierce his own like a knife cutting through melted butter. But he swallowed his pride and stared icily back into Prowl's optics, daring him to challenge him. Prowl seemed to get the hint and moved on, leaving the doorway to Prime's office clear for Sideswipe to enter.

Skating in, Sideswipe slowly approached Optimus's desk, but he was a little surprised to see him engaged in a private conversation with the President of the United States of America. Respectfully, Sideswipe waited for Optimus to finish talking until he thought it was necessary for him to speak up. However, he could not help but listen it.

"Yes, President Obama," Optimus was saying to a small holographic screen on his desk in front of him. "I can understand that the Decepticons have been quiet since the attack on our base, but I'm afraid we are no closer to finding Megatron and his forces since their defeat in Egypt. We have only found small portions of random Decepticons appearing across the globe and taking them down, but that is all we have been doing."

"_I know that, Mr. Prime,"_ said the President. _"But that does not make things any easier for any of us. There have been numerous reports of you and your Autobots, along with NEST, being sighted while doing this. We cannot keep you and your kind secret for much longer, and the people are getting restless since the global announcement from The Fallen."_

"We are doing our best to maintain our cover, Mr. President, but there is little I can do to prevent the Decepticons from appearing out of nowhere and attacking civilians."

"_And we, of the Government, will always be eternally grateful for your assistance, Mr. Prime. But I'm afraid that you are running out of time in finding Megatron and stopping him."_

"I know that we are, Mr. President, and I will always be grateful for your hospitality for my people. And, again, I apologise for not doing as you requested. But it would seem that our best is not enough."

"_It doesn't matter, Mr. Prime. We all need to help each other out."_

Optimus nodded. "I will let you know of anything new, Mr. President, but I cannot tell you everything for the safety of my people."

"_It's understandable, Mr. Prime. Safety is your top priority right now."_ The President seemed to emit a sigh. _"We'll continue this discussion another time. Until then, enjoy the rest of your day, Mr. Prime."_

"You too, Mr. President."

As the holographic projector switched itself off, Sideswipe took that as his cue to speak up. "I... apologise if I walked in on you during your conversation, Sir," he said, bowing his head slightly.

"It's fine, Sideswipe," Optimus answered as he rubbed his nose plate before leaning back into his chair and giving a tired sigh. Sideswipe thought he detected his Prime's frustration, but he dismissed it and took his seat in front of Optimus's desk. "I believe you know why I called you down here, yes?"

Sideswipe nodded. "You had a mission for me, Sir."

"That's right," Optimus said as he picked up a data pad and placed it in front of Sideswipe. "I am sending you on a special scouting mission. You are to scout – and I mean scout only – in California for any signs of Decepticon activity. Lately, we have been detecting Decepticon energy signatures moving about. This data pad will brief you in on the situation."

Sideswipe took the data pad and quickly skimmed through it. Once he was satisfied, he nodded again.

"Do you have any questions, Sideswipe?" Optimus asked.

"Just one," said Sideswipe. "Am I going alone?"

"Yes, you will be going alone," Optimus answered. "I figured you function much better when you are alone. If you do see any Decepticons, notify us immediately. Do not attack them, just find them."

Sideswipe saluted. "You can trust me, Optimus, Sir," he said. "I can guarantee it."

"I know I can, Sideswipe. You are one of my best soldiers, and I cannot afford to lose a good warrior."

"And you won't, Sir," Sideswipe nodded. "I have too much to live on right now."

"That's all I can ask of you, Sideswipe." Optimus frowned a little. "I know that the loss of Jolt has traumatized you, but you must understand that vengeance will not solve anything. It will lead you to your own demise."

Sideswipe just shrugged his shoulders and stood up, taking the data pad with him. "When do I leave?"

"A C-17 is already waiting to take you to California," Optimus answered. "You can leave whenever you're ready."

"Thanks," Sideswipe said and he left the room.

As he left, he thought of the conversation Optimus had had with the President. The way things were going did not sound good at all. If NEST and the Autobots did not find the Decepticons soon, then how would the entire planet be able to live in peace? And if peace came, what would become of him? Would he be able to handle the peace or, if his brother did not come, would he decide to go off and find Sunstreaker on his own?

Times were tough, but the important thing was that he did his job. There was little time to ponder on things when a mission had to be done. The time of being a friend and mentor had passed. It was time to be a warrior once again.


	13. Exhausted

Maybe that wasn't the smartest idea he'd ever have, but it had been for the best. Once again, Sideswipe had gone against orders for what he believed was for a good cause. He knew he was going to get a good chewing from out of Optimus Prime, but the silver mech knew that it had gone against everything he stood for. While he respected his Prime, he would never admit it that he'd do anything to get a job done, even if it meant disobeying a direct order from him. But the thought of Optimus getting mad at him did not bother him one bit, but getting an earful from Ratchet was going to be his worst nightmare.

Ever since he had lied to Optimus about him being fine and getting cleared from active duty, Sideswipe had feared for his life from Ratchet. But he had gone against Ratchet's orders and, the moment he had chased down those Decepticons he had spotted in California without bothering to wait for backup, his spark went into sparkshock once again and he had blacked out. Not only had he gone into sparkshock, but he had also lost sight of the two Decepticons and had cost his allies the opportunity of taking them down.

He had woken up in a C-17 in his vehicle mode, exhausted and unable to move. And much to his surprise, Ironhide was sitting right there beside him with his legs crossed and his arms folded across his chest. The veteran was glancing away from him, his gaze cast at the wall of the gigantic plane. Sideswipe scanned the old warrior to see if he was in recharge, but his scans came back negative.

"Don't fake recharge on me, Ironhide," Sideswipe snorted. "I know you."

Ironhide turned his gaze from the wall to Sideswipe. Sideswipe sensed that his body temperature was as hot as the Australian Outback, and he guessed that it had something to do with his rising anger. He braced himself for a lecture from his old mentor.

"Why?" Ironhide asked, his tone oddly neutral.

Sideswipe was shocked by Ironhide's question. He had expected him to get angry at him like he used to back when he was nothing but a young rookie who was just learning the full scale of fighting. Knowing that it was rude to speak when he was in his vehicle mode, he transformed into his bipedal mode and sat on the opposite side of Ironhide. He crossed his legs and bowed his head out of respect for the elite, not answering.

Ironhide repeated the question again, this time with a bit more sense, "Why did you not tell me about your condition?"

When Sideswipe refused to answer, Ironhide slammed a fist down on the floor of the plane so hard that it nearly left a dent in it. "Damn it, Sideswipe!" he growled. "Don't play games with me! Why didn't you tell me that you're getting sparkshock?"

"For personal reasons," Sideswipe answered simply. His body ached from all the chasing he had done in California, and he really wasn't in the mood to get into anything personal with anyone, especially when it involved his life.

"That doesn't matter, Sideswipe," Ironhide said. "The point is, you nearly went offline after you blacked out from the sparkshock. Ratchet was furious when he found out that you had lied to Optimus about being fine. Optimus ordered me to find you and bring you back before you experienced it again. You were lucky to not have gone offline, kid, or I might've brought you back myself and blown you to Cybertron."

Sideswipe snorted. "You're worried about me, old timer?" he smirked.

Ironhide flinched at his words, but said nothing.

Sideswipe decided to change the subject. "Did you come alone or did someone else come along?"

Ironhide glared at him. "Don't change the subject!" he snarled and he leaned forward and jabbed a finger into Sideswipe's chest. "When we get back to base, Ratchet is going to make sure that you stay in the Med Bay until he deems you fit enough to leave. Once again, I am forced to take your student under my wing until then. You focus on recovering, and I'll take care of the runt."

The silver mech felt anger pulse through his body, and his spark began to beat faster than normal. But he remembered Ratchet's words about stress and other negative emotions could trigger another sparkshock attack. He slapped Ironhide's hand away and pulled further away from him, driven not to look him in the optics, despite the respect he felt for him. Exhaustion and forced recharge was getting harder to fight off, but he was determined to win and not let Ironhide see that he was weak.

"Fine," he grumped. "I'm sure he'll be happy to work under you until then."

Ironhide frowned his azure optics and he leaned back, venting a sigh. "Actually, he's not."

Sideswipe raised an optic ridge and asked, "Why not? You're a much better teacher than I am."

"Hot Rod's a good kid, Sideswipe," Ironhide admitted. "But I cannot bring his true potential out of him. He likes firing weapons, but he prefers your training ways. As much as I like the kid's snarky remarks and his courageous acts, he just doesn't seem to have it in him to go through with my training."

Sideswipe frowned. "I do admit that Hot Rod has taken on some of my... personality, but that doesn't mean I care about him."

"And yet," said Ironhide, "he's grown you, yes?"

The younger mech hesitated and looked away.

"Whatever is growing between you and Hot Rod, I will not say. You haven't cared about someone since Sunstreaker disappeared –"

"Leave Sunny out of this," Sideswipe warned.

"–but I think you just don't want to admit it. Caring about someone is hard, Sideswipe, but I know that any relationship between you and him is anything but special. I'm surprised that you are letting him even get close to you."

Sideswipe turned away, wrapping his arms around his knees and focusing his vision towards the back of the plane. The gentle humming of the plane's engine was reassuring to his audio receptors, but it also hummed in tune with his aching spark. He mentally wished that his brother was here to make the ache go away. Without him by his side, there was nothing he could do to ease his suffering. The longer Sunstreaker was away, the more his spark suffered.

Normally he kept everyone at a distance because of his upbringing, but when Hot Rod walked into his life, the silver mech felt some of his suffering be lifted off. Did he really care about the youngling or was he letting himself get too close for comfort?

"_We're approaching Diego Garcia now,"_ William Lennox's voice called. _"Prepare for landing."_

Sideswipe raised his head and vented a sigh. He glanced over at Ironhide from the corner of optic. Ironhide was leaned back against the wall with his arms folded across his chest. But when he heard the call over the plane's com-link, Ironhide seemed to snap out of his thoughts and backed himself up, transforming into his vehicle mode.

Sideswipe wasn't sure if he had the strength to transform, and he wasn't even sure if he could face his commander after he had lied to him. It was better that he face the consequences like the good soldier that he was and embrace his punishment. Tiredly, he stood up and transformed into his Corvette form, the parts shifting slowly and painfully until he was sitting comfortably on his four wheels.

"Oh, and one more thing, Sideswipe," Ironhide said from next to him.

"What's that?" Sideswipe asked.

"If you experience sparkshock again, it's ok," Ironhide said. "I once had it too when I lost Chromia."

"You...?"

But Ironhide said no more and Sideswipe was once again welcomed with the abyss of silence.


End file.
